The Wood Life

Monthly Newsletter #63

2012-01-06T19:24:00.001-06:00

Dear Landon,

Between both of us being sick, and Christmas…well, there’s just not a lot to this month.

You had your annual Christmas program at school…Once again, your class did a song I’d never heard of before. But it was cute. And you were front and center.

We both had a cough for most of the month, mine turned into bronchitis and your developed into a double ear infection…which you didn’t complain about at ALL. In fact, the teachers called me and said you were lethargic and running a fever, so I picked you up and took you to the doctor. Everyone asked if your ears hurt and you said no, you just couldn’t hear. And lo and behold, double ear infection. You were VERY upset about not going back to school, but the timing was such that the day you could have gone back was the day that they closed at 2 for the Christmas holidays…so you had almost 2 weeks off of school.

There’s a lot of talk about a particular girl at school. You even call her your girlfriend. She’s the same one you’ve been calling on your play cell phone for a few months…and as it turns out – there have been a couple of kisses between you two. Apparently she tried to kiss you at school and got you both in trouble, and then she succeeded in kissing you at Chick Fil A. You seem a bit young to me for all this kissing and girlfriend talk.

You had a lot of Christmases this year. I’ve only had to attend 2 of them so far, and we’ll have one more in a couple weeks. It seems that you got almost all of what you wanted, except a pogo stick. And I’m going to be quite honest with you…you can barely balance on a 2 wheel scooter, so I only really see the pogo stick idea ending badly. Your favorites are a Nintendo 3DS and an MP3 player. I’m pretty sure limits will be set on those in the near future.

Oh and we went to the dentist and this time you actually sat in the chair all by yourself...like a big boy! Your teeth were deemed perfect!

Anyway, all in all not a bad month, except for the being sick part. So, this month, let’s try to stay healthy.

Love,

Mommy

Landon's School Holiday Program

2011-12-16T15:04:00.001-06:00

At least we already did the Christmas Card picture

2011-12-15T19:36:00.001-06:00

Monthly Newsletter #62

2011-12-07T19:56:00.005-06:00

Dear Landon,

So. This month we didn’t spend a whole lot of time together. Not because I didn’t want to, but because it just happened to be that way. Mike came to visit for the first two weeks of November, and you and he hit it off very well. In fact, the second week he was here, you went to your grandparent’s house for the week and midweek when I talked to you via Skype, you said you missed Mike…and when you got back you told me that you missed me, but you missed Mike more. (Which I find completely understandable, you and he had a blast together.)

We tried to go to the zoo, but I didn’t know they were closing early due to an event and we ended up doing the pedal boats instead, remind me to be the one who steers next time. For some unknown reason you absolutely didn’t want to go on the train. So we left Hermann Park and headed for Chuck E Cheese. Where you absolutely had a blast…and it may be the first time you’ve gone that you didn’t go up in the climby tunnel things. And also, the girl divvying out the prizes? She totally gave you whatever you wanted even though you didn’t have enough tickets to get everything…and not just by a small margin either.

We had an early Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Great aunt Mary Lou (actually I think she’s your great-great-aunt) was in town visiting Great Grandma, so we took the opportunity to get everyone together. You and Zoey had a lot of fun on the swings and playing soccer. I think everyone had a pretty good time.

The next morning we dropped you off at your Daddy’s and he took you to your grandparents who kept you for the week. I don’t know what all you did this time, but you did bring me the cutest little jewelry box for my birthday that you made with your grandpa. And I know you had a play date with your cousins Jordan and Jensen.

The next weekend was Daddy’s weekend, and I ran a 5K race with obstacles. I sent a picture to your daddy of me after I finished and he said your response was “eeeeeeeew.” You do know you’re a boy right? You’re supposed to like mud and getting muddy…maybe by the time you can run one, you’ll come around.

You spent Thanksgiving with your Daddy since that’s our usual plan. And I picked out the tag from the Christmas tree at work, so you helped me go shopping for a little 3 year old boy. I hope he likes all the same stuff you do, because he now had a buttload of that stuff. It took a few reminders while we were in the store that we were shopping for him and not for you, but all in all you did really well.

Things to work on. Um…stop lying. I know of two incidents in the last week or so that you lied and got caught almost immediately. Here’s the thing. Even if you do something wrong it’s better to tell the truth and face your punishment than to lie about it, because then you’re going to get punished for lying as well. Oh and the asking for forgiveness is easier than asking permission theory – that’s not going to fly either. And one more thing…quit piddle farting around when I ask you to do something. If I ask you to do something I want it done then, and if I have to ask more than twice – you’re probably going to get yelled at and we both know how much you care for that, so tis better to just do it to begin with.

I love you (infinity plus infinity plus 2)

Love,

Mommy

Monthly Newsletter #61

2011-11-03T14:47:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month has been, interesting.

We had our neighborhood night out this month. Our neighbors all meet at the end of the street and hang out. This year we ate hamburgers and hotdogs. Normally we see a police car and a fire truck, but it seems we only got the police car this year. The officer let each of the kids get in and use the loud speaker and turn on the lights and siren. You were fine with flipping a button to turn on the lights and siren, but steadfastly refused to talk into the loud speaker.

We started out the month with your annual checkup at the doctor. As it turns out I hadn’t taken you to the doctor all year, which is kind of nice, but I hadn’t realized it had been such a healthy year for you. Your growth record is about the same as it always has been, little short, little on the high side for weight – but nothing to be concerned about.

We went to the Greek Festival again this year. You had a blast. It rained when we first got there and everything was soaked, but about 20 minutes after the sun came out, it was all dried up and you were ready to play. I hope one day I’ll get you to try the other foods, but as it was you liked the souvlaki (steak on a stick). Which is good enough for me. You made a couple containers of slime, and a rainbow crystal thingy – which you kept shaking until the whole thing turned brown. And you spent a good hour on the jumping things, slides, etc.

The next weekend we had Carson from school’s birthday party at BounceU. I love BounceU. They have the best giant slide ever – you don’t like to go down it by yourself, so I get to go on it with you – which I love to do. You also tested out their hurricane machine – along with like 12 other kids – you experienced 75 mph winds.

We did our annual pumpkin patch trips. The one to Dewberry Farms, we ended up not getting a pumpkin, but you jumped on the jumping pillows, rode the zip lines, and panned for marbles, among other activities. It was awesome weather and we had a lot of fun that day. At your request, I had made arrangements for you to go spent the night with my parents on Saturday night, so after we left Dewberry Farms we headed down that way. Zoey was there for the night also, and you two played and played and played.

I came back to get you on Sunday and we did our annual trip to the church pumpkin patch in Lake Jackson. You refused to take a lot of the pictures we normally take there, but I did get a few to make the comparisons from the years.

This month you were also introduced to my boyfriend, Mike. This is the first time you’ve been introduced to anyone I’ve dated since your daddy left. I have been very careful about not introducing you to anyone unless I thought it was serious, I don’t want you attached to people who aren’t going to be around. And your reaction was kind of what I expected, although it was a little bit delayed. Which meant your daddy had to deal with the bulk of it. There was some confusion and some jealousy, and the ever present fear of change. I think your daddy handled it well, because you seem to have adjusted to having Mike around. Granted, it’s only been a few days, and you will leave to visit your grandparents at the beginning of next week and by the time I get you back, Mike will be gone again. We won’t see him again for several months – but hopefully next time we see him, we won’t have the drama that we had this time.

For Halloween we sat out in the front yard to hand out candy. You dressed as Yoda and had a blast. You jumped around with your light saber, and you and Mike emptied two cans of silly string on each other. Which you then collected and made “the world’s biggest ball of silly string” and declared it a world record.

All in all this has been a very busy month, and I suspect this next month will be equally busy. I hope you continue to have a desire to learn (when I picked you up from school one day you had a pile of worksheets and your teacher informed me that you announced you didn’t want to play, you wanted to do homework) and a love of reading (our current deal involves 8 bedtime books, to be negotiated down if you feel the need to stay in the shower so long as to drain the water heater.)

Love,

Mommy

I'm sorry if my child may have insulted your daughter when you came to my house on Halloween

2011-11-01T13:26:00.001-05:00

Last night, because the dogs go crazy when people knock on the door, we decided to sit out in the front yard in lawn chairs and hand out vegetables. Surprisingly we didn’t get too bad a response on the offer of vegetables, and when given the choice between the vegetables and the candy, one kid did actually choose a cucumber. I’m pretty sure his mom either threw it away or is contacting the police to have it x-rayed!

Mike stayed behind to hand out candy, while Landon and I took off to trick or treat. One of the ladies on the street prepared special bags of candy just for the neighbor kids. We get a lot of kids for trick or treating that are driven in from other areas. And I guess they just got regular candy, while the kids she knows got bags with really good candy and a few other trinkets.

So once we finished the street, Landon hung out in the front yard dancing around, playing with silly string, talking to trick or treaters, etc. A couple of kids walked up, a boy about Landon’s size and an older girl – maybe 11 or 12 years old (I don’t know I don’t have one that size so I can’t really tell) – I don’t even know what she was dressed as really, but she was wearing a green dress with braided trim. And then I heard him say “Are you a whore?”

And everything went silent. And I looked at Mike. And Mike looked at me. And I looked at the parents. And I said “EXCUSE ME! What did you say to her?” And after some argument about who he was actually talking to (the little boy) he explained that he had asked “Are you a four?” I’m not sure what the question was about, “are you a fantastic four?” maybe, but honestly I don’t really care. By the time that got resolved I was just happy that I wasn’t having to explain to anyone where my child learned the word “whore.”

Monthly Newsletter #60

2011-10-05T09:45:00.004-05:00

Dear Landon,

I like 5. 4 was okay – but if the past couple of days (why yes, this newsletter is a few days late, did you expect anything else?) is any indication of what 5 is like. I totally like 5. 5 seems to be reasonable and cooperative – and I also fully recognize I am probably shooting myself in the foot right now by putting it out there in the universe, but I just want to brag a bit.

Lots of fun stuff happened this month, you spent some time on a deer lease with Daddy, feeding the deer. You are excited about the idea of shooting a pig (not sure you’ll actually be able to achieve that with your bow, but I’m not going to be the one to crush your dream.)

We went to my company weekend. There had been some major wildfires in the area and it was awfully smoky one morning, but we had a blast at the waterpark. The giant checkers in the courtyard were a big hit and I had packed some board games in case it was too smoky to go outside, and you loved hanging out in the room playing those too.

During the evening event for the grown-ups, you got to go to a pirate themed party. They had a show and all kinds of arts and crafts for you to do. Unfortunately, for the second year in a row, whoever was in charge of you allowed someone else to take your stuff home. On one hand I didn’t end up with a bunch of stuff I was going to end up throwing away, but I was told you worked really hard on your pirate hat, and I’m pretty upset I didn’t even get to see it.

I took a trip to Alaska for an extended weekend, so you got an extended weekend with your Daddy. You also visited your grandparents on that weekend and from what I hear had a great time!

You have landed on being Yoda for Halloween this year. So we went shopping for a costume. After we gathered the right stuff, found a light saber and everything you said “Umm, I’m thinking I might need a gun.” I explained that Yoda doesn’t have a gun, because he doesn’t need a gun, he has the force. I got the nod from the Halloween store guy agreeing with me and you accepted it as fact.

Your birthday party was a hit this year. We had a pirate theme. I filled a kiddie pool with sand and hid little toys in there for a treasure hunt, and you and all your friends swam. The weather couldn’t have been better for a swim party and you had a blast! You had a pirate ship cake – which was awesome. Aunt Kathleen always makes the coolest cakes for you!

For your actual birthday, I told you we could eat anywhere you wanted. I was hoping you’d choose the Mexican restaurant with the playground, so you could play and I could have a margarita…no such luck – you chose Chick-Fil-A. Which is fine, you still played and it was spirit night for a local elementary school so there were plenty of extra kids to play with. All in all you were very happy with your 5^th birthday.

I honestly have nothing for you to work on this month. I love you, and I hope you continue in your sweet ways.

Love,

Mommy

Monthly Newsletter #59

2011-09-07T18:00:00.001-05:00

Dear Landon,

It’s about this time of year, each year that begin contemplating not writing these anymore. As you get older you’ll remember stuff on your own and you won’t need a conglomeration of letters that I haphazardly wrote each month around the 3rd as a record. But then I wonder if you’d be upset purely by change, as you are not generally a fan of change – unless it’s your idea, then it’s okay.

I give you exhibit a: I picked you up from your Daddy’s today after a 3 day weekend with him. You walked in the house, gasped and said “Really? Mommy, really?” As you pointed at…the upholstery on the breakfast room chairs. I had changed it over the weekend (after you got over the unauthorized change you said it looked nice, but you also don’t color coordinate your clothes when allowed to pick on your own, so I’m not really investing too much in your opinion. I had used the same material to upholster the dining room chairs (a project that only took me 8 years) and it looks fine on those chairs and in that room, I’m just not happy with the way it looks in the breakfast room. You then proceeded to grill me about “any other changes [you] should know about.” The weather stripping on the backdoor was confirmed as new, as if I would lie about changing weather stripping. You didn’t seem to care about the lightbulbs I changed, but clothes I bought for myself were all approved as “cute, but not like a baby, cute” and then you ranked them from cutest to cute, but not the cutest.

Noah and Jonah came over to play one evening, it was probably the most exhausted I have ever been in my life and it just solidifies the fact that I am not cut out to have more than one small child at a time for any length of time, but still it was a lot of fun.

I also took you to a Cory Morrow concert at Miller Outdoor Theatre. You loved it. You love going to Miller in general, but you also love music, so it was perfect.

New this month, you are standing to pee. Which is nice, and it helps tremendously in public. And your aim is pretty good, so it’s even better. Also you are sleeping in your own room by yourself finally, and I don’t even have to trick you into thinking I’m in there, you let me just leave after we finish reading. Tis awesome.

You are loving my new jeep, you always want to ride in it, the only problem being that I had no intention of driving it to and from work. Also it’s 1000° outside, so riding in the jeep can be equally fun and miserable all at once. It will be better in October.

If you could work on one thing for me this month it would be awesome. Please stop treating me like I’m 5. You’re 5, not me. When I ask you a question, I want an answer, I don’t want you to make the sound of the first letter like I’m taking a quiz and you’re helping me remember something. When I ask “Do you want a burger or nuggets?” The answer I want is either “burger” or “nuggets” not “buh, buh, buh.” Aside from that, I think we’re doing pretty swell.

Love,
Mommy

Is it love?

2011-08-23T07:36:00.000-05:00

On the way to school this morning Landon whipped out his play cell phone and ordered me to turn down the radio because he was on the phone.

And then I heard this:

[Landon]: Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail… Yes, Abigail

[Me]: Uh, Landon? Do you ever tell Abigail “no”?

[Landon]: No, Mommy, I LOVE her!

Lesbians are taunting me with their nuts.

2011-08-09T19:31:00.003-05:00

Last weekend I floated the Comal river for the first time as an adult...a drinking adult. Well, as shy as I am, alcohol tends to unleash my social butterfly ... apparently.

I met all kinds of people. Including - people who had the best nuts I'd ever tasted (or so I think, because - remember? drunk.) Anyway, these people happen to be lesbians from Longview. East Texas middle aged lesbians - had these awesome onion cashews. I ate exactly 3 of them before I got separated from them and lost them forever. But not before finding out that they were from Wal-Mart and getting a good enough look at the bag to see the brand is "World Table" (That would be a Wal-Mart brand.)

So because I have OCD, mostly O, less C, probably alot of D too. I cannot stop thinking about those nuts. I went to two different Wal-Marts in my area and found the brand of nuts, but not that flavor. I looked online only to find out that you cannot order them online, except through e-bay and I refuse to pay $7.50 for a 1/2 lb of nuts when if I can find them in the store they will be roughly $3.

So - I am simply requesting that the next time you mosey down the aisle of Wal-Mart (no one likes to do it, no one likes to admit it, but we all do it eventually at some point) - see if they have them, consider buying me a bag, I will pay you back for them, I swear.

Monthly Newsletter #58

2011-08-04T08:44:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month has gone by at the speed of light. No seriously, and it’s not just because the last newsletter was really really late either. Anyway, I apologize, but this may be the shortest newsletter yet.

This month you began a weird habit of lying. Not terrible lies, but for instance telling GUL and Kimmie that you are taking a balancing class (I’m not even sure what a balancing class would be.) And that your swimming lessons would just be one day (not true, when I finally get around to signing you up, they will be 2 weeks.) Now, these are kind of funny lies and pretty easily verified, but I in no way want you to think that it’s okay to lie. Ever.

We went to Zoey’s 4^th Birthday party. It was all about dinosaurs, complete with volcano cake. Last year you loved her fairy treehouse cake so much you requested the exact same cake for your party – except no fairies, instead you wanted monkeys. I half expected you to have a similar request this year, but you were somehow less impressed by the volcano – instead you’ve decided you need a pirate ship. And something about sand and water…I don’t know, I’ll get you and aunt Kathleen together to work out the details – so long as you don’t expect actual shooting cannons, I think it can be done.

Right now, as I type this, you are at your Grandma and Grandpa Wood’s house. You are in the middle of a week with them. You are having a blast and I’m so glad that you get to spend time with them like that. I used to spend a week with my grandma during the summer sometimes, and we always had a lot of fun. You will have a lot of good memories from those times.

I don’t really have anything for you to work on this month, although I do anticipate a little bit of reprogramming after I get you back from a week with the grandparents – so just be easy on me with that, please.

Love,

Mommy

Monthly Newsletter #57

2011-07-12T15:45:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

I know this one is a little late, but we were on vacation on the 3^rd, and… well…let’s face it – vacation is not the time to write a newsletter, and neither are the 5 days post vacation when a person is trying to recover from the vacation. So here we are.

Anyway, this month has been crazy busy and a lot of fun too. We hosted what I hope will be our first annual crawfish boil. Next year, we’ll probably do it a little earlier in the season, and probably with a few less crawfish – but all in all I think it was a success anyway. A few of your friends from school showed up and a sampling of the people from each group that I invited. All in all, it wasn’t too bad for a first run at it. I learned a few lessons on this one that I can easily change about next year.

I made plans with one of your friend’s moms to have a play date at some point – although then we promptly left town, so we haven’t actually done it yet, but I will call her, I promise.

You’ve decided that you do want to take swimming lessons. I’ve been looking on-line and asking your friends’ parents about where they took their kids and why, and I think I’ve found a place to do it, I just need to make sure I can get the scheduling done so that you can make it to all of them. I’ve pretty much given up the idea that I could teach you. Parents are just not that great at teaching their kids those kinds of skills – seems odd, but sometimes it takes a stranger.

We went to one of your friend’s birthday party, and you and she and her best friend had a great time – and I made plans with her mom for a future play date too. I hope these tentative, half assed, pseudo-plans turn into something real, because I think that’s something we’re lacking, is friends outside of school. Granted these are friends from school, but you never see them outside of school except at birthday parties.

And the biggest part of the month was our vacation, ahem, I mean tour! Aunt Kathleen’s schedule worked really well…we only dropped a few things we had scheduled, but we had a great time. We will probably have to go back to Washington DC again in a few years, since it’s really more of a 5 day city, not a 2 ½ day city, and we missed a lot of stuff. You had a great time and of all the things we saw you keep saying that your favorite part was the liberty bell. (Which is odd because that was something we came up with after looking at the map and happening to see we passed right by Philadelphia in driving to and from New Jersey.) We even got to do a few more things in NYC than we did last time, even though we also repeated a few things. We got our picture taken on the beam at Top of the Rock – which we were absolutely unable to convince you to do last time, and we got to see Time Square at night with all the flashing lights and even saw a few cool street performers (Spiderman in the street at Time Square – being your second favorite part of the trip.)

Fireworks on the National Mall were spectacular. I think I am ruined for watching fireworks now. Seeing fireworks as tall as the Washington Monument go off right behind the Washington Monument is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity, possibly like being in time square on New Years’ Eve – which, incidentally, I’d also like to do one day. I’ll put it on my bucket list. I can’t wait to sort through all the pictures of all the stuff we did and make our vacation picture book.

For some reason you are noticing all the Eiffel Tower pictures and things I have around the house lately, you’d like to see it for real, but I told you we’d have to wait until you’re 9 or 10. It’s a pretty expensive trip, and I want to be sure you remember it. I’m hoping to steer you towards wanting to see something on the West coast next…although you seem particularly content if we just go see Mary Lou again…we’ve been in the fall and in the summer, so by your reasoning we should go back again to see her in the Spring and in the Winter, just so we can cover all the seasons.

I’m only asking that you continue to be the sweet smart little dude you’ve become.

Love,

Mommy

Monthly Newsletter #56

2011-06-06T23:48:00.003-05:00

Dear Landon,
This month we finished up your T-ball season and you announced you never wanted to play T-ball again, right after I bought the same style tee that the league uses, so we could practice. Although, just a couple days ago you expressed sadness that we’d no longer be going to “your” park to play baseball. I asked if you wanted to play baseball again next season and you said “yes.” So I guess that’s a bridge we’ll cross when the try-outs come back up.
You spent a weekend in Galveston with your Daddy and grandparents. The place where you stayed had bunk beds and you LOVED them. I saw my opportunity and jumped on it. I took you to IKEA and had you “test” out all the bunk beds. You picked a not so high bunk bed, which is awesome. And although I don’t want to jinx it, and I’m afraid I will by putting this out there, you’ve slept in it for 3 days now…granted I’m sleeping on the floor below you, but you agreed that in a while when you’re more used to it, that I could move to the guest bed – which you can see from your bed…and from there I will eventually get to return to my own bed. Progress is being made!
We also went to a MLB Astros game with your T-ball (Astros) team. It was pretty disappointing score-wise, but you announced to your grandfather that we won (did not win, far from it.) Although, I’m sure you didn’t notice, due to the extreme amount of sugar in your blood…one ginormous snow cone and a whole thing of cotton candy. I guess you did at least eat a hotdog. But you certainly didn’t fall asleep on the way home like I had hoped.
We went to the Strawberry festival with Miss Catherine and Baby Jack. We met up with Uncle Hector’s cook-off team and they fed us well! I sent you off with Joshua and $20 and you came back with more stuff than I thought $20 could get a person at fair games. And Joshua did say he had to spot you $5…he also said it was well worth it. Too bad he already has a girlfriend because apparently you are a chick magnet.
Your daddy and I finalized our divorce this month. I don’t know how this is going to affect you in the future; we’re trying our best to maintain your normal life. And it seems to be working, you seem very well adjusted. We’re already getting out of the way the fact that there are some different rules at Mommy’s house than at Daddy’s – just like there are different rules at home and school.

I don't have much in the way of things for you to work on this month, because you seem to be on track with everything I feel you should be doing - we may not be where you need to be on those things, but we're on track, and that's the point.

Love,

Mommy

Cute boys!

2011-06-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

A couple weekends ago we went to the Strawberry Festival in Pasadena. Landon wanted to go play games, I wanted to eat some cook off food and go see Brianna sing (she won second place and was AWESOME!!) So I handed Landon and $20 to Joshua and told them to have a good time. At the end of the night, Landon had a couple swords and a couple stuffed animals (and apparently one stuffed animal also got lost.) Looks like they had a good time playing with the ipad too!

And let that be a warning to all the other snakes out there.

2011-05-25T15:01:00.002-05:00

I was nearly eaten by an anaconda in my own back yard. The first person I called/texted replied he “doesn’t do snakes.” For the record I wasn’t asking him to “do” the snake, I was asking him to kill it or relocate it. So then, while staring the snake down with my meanest eyes and possibly invoking “the force” to keep it from moving, I decided it would be in my best interest to run next door and acquire someone with a will to kill – I thought I was probably looking for someone with a penis and a hunting tendency, so I headed to the house with the 3 teenage boys who are always cleaning their trucks and doing something with a deer stand in their driveway, but the family wasn’t home, so I headed in the other direction. I got my neighbor and his older daughter (about 11) to come over and by the time we got back, the snake had moved. He said to come on back by if it showed up again. So I started looking, because if I didn’t find that snake it was going to haunt me forever.

I found the snake in the expansion joint between the garage and the patio and screamed. They heard me and headed back over. Followed by the wife and her mother. He coaxed the snake out and used the tile scraper his wife had brought with her to hold him down. I handed over my shovel and the wife and her mother killed the hell out of the snake. I have never seen two more determined women in my life. I give you exhibit a:

Upon posthumous inspection, we decided it was a hognose, non-venomous – but the only kind of snake I like is a dead snake, so that’s fine by me. I left the snake out there for the rest of the day as a warning to the other snakes. And that seems to have worked, because although I am now super cautious when stepping out my back door and have a new patio scanning technique – I haven’t seen any other snakes.

I have however found a dead mouse. And when I found it , at first I was pissed off that I was going to have to pick it up – because I don’t like picking up dead animals. I prefer to have someone else do that. But being that the other person in my household is 4 years old, and doesn’t understand that he shouldn’t touch everything inside a portapotty, I kind of don’t think it’s in his best interest to have him picking up dead animals. And then I thought, what if it springs back to life and tries to bite me – like a zombie mouse. And I’m not sure of the rules of zombies and whether a zombie bite will transcend species, but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take. And of course briefly I thought about the fact that a week earlier I had ordered killed it’s possible predator and if I hadn’t maybe I wouldn’t have had to deal with this. And that thought was cleared by the fact that I am not afraid of mice, I am afraid of snakes, so I’d rather deal with a mouse (and preferably a dead one over a live one) than a snake, and thank goodness this was one animal that didn’t require killing.

I’m pretty sure it was a victim of one of my cats, given the teeth marks on its nose, they leave me presents like that occasionally, and I keep telling them that I prefer James Avery and if they’d like me to show which one exactly I would be more than willing, but they insist on the dead animals, so what can you do?

Monthly Newsletter #55

2011-05-03T08:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month we played T-ball. And then we played some more T-ball and then we played a little more T-ball.

Love,

Mommy

Kidding! Yes, we played a lot of T-ball this month, but we did manage to squeeze in a few other things as well.

You are getting better at T-ball, albeit slowly, you only have three more games this season, but you have already said you want to play again next year. Maybe next year your attention span will be such that you can stop playing in the dirt, or with your hat while you’re in the field. Maybe next year you’ll be that big kid on the team that understands the game and the skill level of the other kids and compensates for them (this year that kid is the reason for 99% of our outs.) Anyway, I bought you a tee just like coach Fred uses, so we can practice.

Also this month we went to another show at Miller Outdoor Theater. You immediately made friends with a couple other kids on the hill when we got there. I am still amazed at your ability to do that. I mean, from the kid who 2 years ago froze in the presence of strangers to a kid who walks up to a stranger and asks if he can play…I wish I had that skill. We watched a show call Luma, it wasn’t as good at the Aluminum show we saw last month, but it was still pretty cool. I don’t see any other super exciting shows on the schedule for the rest of the season, but I’ll check it out again to be sure, because you do enjoy going out there and sitting on the hill and falling asleep on a blanket.

You had another birthday party at Chuck E Cheese this month, it was for a kid in your class whose Dad plays for the Houston Rockets. Information you didn’t tell me until you decided you wanted to go see him play, which you announced exactly 2 days after the last game of the season. Hopefully his contract will be renewed/extended, whatever it is they do and we’ll go see him next year. I believe you have a cousin and an uncle who wouldn’t mind accompanying you on that particular outing.

We also kept Baby Jack for a week this month. That baby is so awesome, and we both already miss him. He surprisingly made my life much easier. We got him on Easter morning and kept him until the following Sunday. While he was at the house, each morning we were able to get up and get going earlier and your attitude was very helpful.

You also spent a couple weekends this month with your Daddy at his new apartment. I’m so glad you’re finally getting to spend more time with him, it’s important that you do that, and you guys even made your Star of the Week poster for school together. Also, I don't know if it's playing the wii with your Daddy or the Tball, but you're getting much better at baseball on the Wii too!

One thing we need to work on is your gender stereotyping. I finished building my crawfish table this month. In the middle of putting the legs on, you said "Anyway Mommy, why are you building this, girls can't build things, only boys can." And I just about tackled you. I told you girls can build stuff too, and don't ever tell a girl she can't do something just because she's a girl. I didn't mention that depending on the girl she might deck you, but if you keep up that chauvinistic attitude you’ll find that out soon enough.

Oh and still working on sleeping in your own bed. You did finally admit that your bed is uncomfortable, which I completely agree. The mattress we used for the crib is the same mattress we’re using for the bed and it was purposefully hard when we bought it, but now it seems a bit too hard, and I’m a person who can sleep on a carpeted floor and be fine, so if I think it’s hard, you know it’s hard. We’ll go shopping this weekend for one and I’ll let you pick it out.

Otherwise keep up the good work.

Love,

Mommy

I know, no one wants to hear about your dreams

2011-04-28T09:24:00.000-05:00

but, someone needs to know that the very worst part about dreaming you did the laundry - is waking up to find out that you in fact did NOT do the laundry, but you feel like you already did it and you wasted a perfectly good dream on it.

Put this on this list of things I never thought I'd say

2011-04-27T10:03:00.001-05:00

"No Jack, you are only allowed to touch your OWN penis!"

Yeah, okay, maybe that warrants an explanation. I'm taking care of an extra 2 year old this week (Jack) while his parents are on vacation. And the way I see it, 2 year olds and 4 years olds can bathe at the same time. The first night I ended up with 2 naked boys to be dried off side by side - hence the grab, hence the saying. I have since learned that leaving the big one in the shower while I tend to the little one works much better. No penis grabbing or wet naked running around the house.

The rest of my vocabulary has been reduced to the following:

"Leave it!"

"Put it back."

"Come on boys."

"No hitting!"

"You have to share."

"No screaming."

There are, by the way, huge perks in this arrangement, not the least of which is that when I tell Landon that Jack is awake in the morning, Landon wakes up and gets moving and we've actually left the house earlier every day this week than we do when I have one less person to get out the door, not to mention the fact that we're eating breakfast at home, and normally we eat in the car on the way to school or at school. The math on that equation doesn't quite add up, but never look a gift horse in the mouth. (A saying I thought was because horses spit or bite or something, but then I remembered it's camels that spit, so you should probably also not be looking gift camels in the mouth either. And because I can't leave anything alone, I now know that it's because if someone gave you a horse and you looked in their mouth you could figure out their age, thereby assessing the value of the gift, which you're not supposed to do, tis rude.)

Luckily for me, Jack is the kind of baby you can put in his crib at 8:30 and walk away from, and not have to deal with him again until morning. And the kind of baby who fusses for about 15-20 seconds and then gets on with his life when something he doesn't like is happening. I would keep him if I thought I could get away with it.

Wild cows!!!

2011-04-08T10:49:00.000-05:00

On the way home from Girl Scouts we pass a pasture with cattle. The fence is barbed wire, so you pretty much can see mainly the posts from a distance, but not the wires necessarily. This past Tuesday they were particularly close to the fence, so I pointed them out.

"Oh, look Landon, do you see those cows?"

"Yeah, they're just standing out there...I think they prolly must be wild cows."

"Wild cows? I don't think...ARE there wild cows? I'm pretty sure, they're just regular cows, somebody's cows."

"No, they're wild cows."

"How can you tell that they're wild cows?"

"Well, I don't see a gate or anything, so they must be wild."

Two happy dudes!

2011-04-07T09:38:00.001-05:00

Monthly Newsletter #54

2011-04-04T14:58:00.001-05:00

Dear Landon,

Whoa, slow down buddy, you’re growing up too fast!

You had your very first actual T-ball game. You probably had the largest entourage there, 2 parents, 2 grandparents, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, and 3 cousins (I won’t count the ones who are related to you but were actually there for Noah, but if you counted them, there’d be another 5). The game lasted 2 full innings. Although we didn’t keep score, we all know you guys won! And as a bonus, it was hilariously awesome, and no one cried!

I took you to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo this year for the first time. So you saw your very first rodeo and your very first concert. When we first arrived you decided we must play games, so we played a few games, at none of which you won anything, although it didn’t seem to bother you, and why would it? It wasn’t your money. Then we made our way through the crowd to the stadium, bought yet another light up sword type thing, and started our trek all the way up to the 600 level, you decided you needed peanuts and a sprite. And we found our seats.

I had an inside scoop on getting us into the Grand Entry – but unfortunately, I didn’t know until it was too late. Next year I’ll get him to hook us up for sure. I guess in hindsight it was actually better this way, because I wouldn’t have been able to top it for next year if we had gotten in.

The rodeo began with the calf roping. The cowboy roped the neck of the calf, jumped off his horse, ran over and knocked the calf over and tied the three legs together in a matter of seconds. The calf laid there very still while the cowboy awaited the judges ruling to release him. You had an expression on your face that made me think you were going to be signing up for PETA the second we got home. I told you calmly to keep watching, that the cow was okay, they were going to untie him in a second and he would jump up and run on his way. Which he did, and you relaxed. Thank goodness. I don’t have the heart to tell you what they did to the horses and bulls to make them buck like that, but I did tell you they made them mad on purpose. All in all, you were most impressed by the mutton busting – probably because the contestants were more your size. Maybe you’d be up for it next year – we’ll see – but I kind of think we’re going to do the grand entry instead.

The entertainer was Gary Allan. I had bought a greatest hits CD and it’s all I played in the car for the week prior to the rodeo. When he started his first song, you turned to me wide eyed and said “MOM! I recognize this song!” You danced and made the teenagers sitting around us laugh, but after about 5 or 6 songs you got bored and said we had to go outside and ride some rides. Unfortunately while waiting in the ticket line I got sick for no apparent reason, and we had to make our way back to the car. So much was left undone – we rode no rides, we didn’t shop for boots for you. We still have a ton of cowboy stuff to explore next year!

You also lost your very first tooth this month. I thought it took longer for teeth to fall out, but you pointed out their looseness to me on Sunday afternoon and when I woke you up Monday morning one was gone! I asked about what you thought the tooth fairy might bring, and told you that she always brought me money. You said, she would probably bring you a toy instead. I told you we’d have to see. And lo and behold, the tooth fairy, not only brought you a toy, but brought you the toy you thought she might! You also lost a second tooth about a week later, and were terribly disappointed by the dollar bill she left for that one. I agreed to sell you a fancy coin for the dollar bill. You picked a 10 nuevo peso coin that I had left over from my trip to Mexico – a nice pick being that it’s an interesting looking coin – with a gold outer circle and a silver inner circle (clearly I’m talking color not metal.) It’s worth less than $1, but only by about 15 cents, I made the deal anyway though, and you seem happy about it.

I took you to the Miller Outdoor Theater to see The Aluminum Show, and although each time they were between scenes you asked if it was over and fell asleep about half way through, you still had a blast, and I will absolutely go see that show again and I would even be willing to pay money to see it, it was that awesome. I hope the Luma one I’m taking you to in April is just as good!

We also built a vegetable garden this month. I’m using the term “we” pretty loosely here, since you pretty much spent most of the build time inside looking for your shoes (translation, got side tracked by a toy you saw while on a mission to find your shoes), but you did help with the planting of the seeds. I have a feeling not everything will be growing as planned, but it’s certainly worth a shot. We planted carrots, sweet and red onions, green beans, spinach, cucumbers, zucchini, and tomatoes. Needless to say, our tiny little garden is going to be a bit crowded, but that’s ok.

I had a parent teacher conference with your teacher. You are very smart and above and beyond the rest of the class, you’re still getting bored which leads to misbehaving. I asked if I should take you straight to Kindergarten next year and the teacher said she didn’t think that was necessary, and that the teachers in the pre-K class know how smart you are and will challenge you enough. I don’t really want you skipping grades anyway, I’m sure it would be fine now, but later on when maturity really matters, I want you to be on even ground with your peers.

An interesting development happened in your speech patterns this month. The word "exactly" seems to be a new favorite. You use it often. Often when it isn't quite the right word. "I will exactly have three cookies." "I exactly like the blue truck." "I am exactly putting it right here." I don't know where you learned the word or what it is you think it means "exactly," but I find it quite humorous.

Um, we didn’t quite accomplish the moving to your own bed this month. So it’s still on your to do list for this month.

Love,

Mommy

Hmmmm....

2011-03-30T10:14:00.001-05:00

So apparently the sasquatches are getting more and more organized. First they're going to learn how to get engaged, next they'll be wanting to get married and have their big foot children go to public schools. I wonder if this is what the rightwing envisioned when they said gay marriage was a slippery slope?

Landonisms, continued

2011-03-21T09:20:00.000-05:00

"When I grow up to be a rock star, my team will win!"

To further clarify - his team is apparently his band, although he didn't know what they would win, it doesn't matter, so long as they won. So says Landon.

**********

He lost his first tooth last night. I found it in the bed. When asked what he thought the tooth fairy would bring him, and I suggested maybe some money, he said "No,...probably a monster truck lawn chair that a monster truck can sit in and it will shoot him out!" [The visual explanation contained a Stuart from Mad TV like jump twist arm pump up in the air.]

"A lawn chair for monster trucks? Do they even make those?"

"Yeah, you know." [Repeat the visual portion of the explanation]

"Ooooh, a launcher!"

"Yeah, that's what I said a launcher." [Which may very well be true, if you take into account his deep country Texas accent.]

A few Landonisms

2011-03-14T10:56:00.001-05:00

"I'm almost old enough to live on my own."

"Really? How old it that?"

"Five. Five, is old enough to live on your own."

"Hmmm...how old do you think most people are when they move to their own place?"

"Ten is when most people live on their own."

*************************************

"If you're thinking about eating glue, you have to eat grilled cheese because it's kind of like glue, but healthy for you."

Monthly Newsletter #53

2011-03-03T08:14:00.002-06:00

Dear Landon,

You are growing up. This month is full of growing up signs. They are everywhere. And great and wonderful, and perfect.

Well, I kept it a secret for almost 4 ½ years, but you were finally invited to a Chuck E Cheese birthday party, where you found out that it's not just a TV show we keep missing. In fact, you were invited to 2 different Chuck E Cheese birthday parties this month. And I will admit that this Chuck E Cheese is sooo much better than I remember. Last time I went to a party there, it was an older location and the games were run down and the pizza was terrible. I have to admit, that this place was clean and up to date and very nice…I might even consider taking you on a non-birthday party trip there. We'll see.

Grandpa Logan came up this month and he took the crib bars off of your bed. You now have your very own big boy bed. Complete with the Yoda sheets that you requested and told me that if you had them you would totally sleep up there by yourself. You lied, by the way. We did have one night where we attempted it, but you took until 11pm to fall asleep, and then an hour later came downstairs with a terrible nosebleed and my brain nearly collapsed the next day from exhaustion, so that didn't work out. You keep telling me you'll sleep up there tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes you say you meant today's tomorrow, not yesterday's tomorrow. I have some new plans of attack brewing – but discovered that I should not tell you what they are, because you will thwart them.

I also bought you some new bookshelves from IKEA this month. Your room is now very organized and hopefully we can keep it that way. We do need to learn to let go of some of the toys you no longer play with. You treat your toys with such care that they are all in excellent shape, which means that I don't get to throw very many away – which means we really just keep collecting more and more of them. In fact you have a huge tub of unopened toys in your closet from your birthday and Christmas.

This month you began T-ball. You are on the Astros! This is unbelievably lucky since you had been saying all along that you wanted to be on the Astros and I kept telling you I had no control over that. You are #4, and opening day is this Saturday. Practices have been going pretty well and your throwing is getting better – but I think Saturday is going to hilarious in ways you won't understand until you have a 4 year old and put them together with 11 other four year olds and try to get them to play a game they don't fully understand. Herding cats is an understatement.

A couple weeks ago we were running an errand and you told me you were trying to think of a word you forgot, "it's a 3 syllable word that starts with 'P', and it's another name for an elephant." Those were the clues I got. You were thinking of pachyderm. Seriously? You're 4. I'm not sure when I learned the word pachyderm, but I'm 100% positive I wasn't 4. You are freaking people out with all this knowledge. And it's not just the pachyderms. People think it's crazy that you know about inertia, force, and friction too. Never mind the constant discussions that lead to Einstein's theory of relativity. I may possibly be raising a much nerdier me than I ever imagined, I just hope I can keep you interested in learning so you don't peak too early.

Your reading skills are getting stronger and stronger. I think you may have exceedingly high standards for yourself though, because while I fully believe you are reading, you fully believe you are not. You say you are not because you don't know "all the words." Sweetheart, I don't think anyone knows "all" the words.

I'm going to admit that this year will be a little harder than last year. I let you get away with a ton of stuff over the last year, that I now realize I need to stop allowing. It was okay for a time, but it's time to get back to reality. With that in mind, my request this month is simple. Please sleep in your big boy bed. That's it, that's all I want from the next month. I will absolutely welcome you into my bed if you're scared, or have a bad dream, or a nosebleed, or whatever, but I can no longer tolerate being kicked in the head at 2:00 am. It's ouchy.

Love,

Mama

Monthly Newsletter #52

2011-02-03T13:16:00.002-06:00

Dear Landon,

Man, that was a fast month. Or maybe it just feels like we didn't do anything because I decided that the very best way to spend a week was to get as close to death as possible through coughing and phlegm. You, for some unknown but totally miraculous reason, did not get sick. And I appreciate that more than you will ever know.

I finally got it through your thick little skull that the crying and whining at me when I leave you at day care is for the birds and you had better cut the crap. I explained that I would be much more likely to hug and smooch a few extra times if asked nicely instead of being screamed at and clung to. And you know what? It worked! All it took was me leaving one day after you started your fit without comforting you. Awesomeness.

Also awesome? You are reading. I bought a couple sets of super duper easy books and you read two of them to me. Granted they are not terribly difficult, but it's the path, we've begun the journey, and since the journey leads to me not having to read 47 books to you in one sitting, I’m all for it.

Your daddy and cousin Jay took you and Noah to your first monster truck rally. I have a feeling it may become an annual event for you, because you LOVED it. Loved. It. You talked about it for days and days; you gathered up all your monster trucks and did a demonstration of what happened for me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this excited.

We babysat Baby Jack one night this month. About 2 weeks later you told me you thought you'd have a baby brother or a baby sister by now. I told you to be patient, and things happen in strange ways and we may very well get one for you eventually, but for now, you need to enjoy Baby Jack. That evening we went over to Baby Jack's house and he beat the crap out of you. I asked if you still wanted that baby brother and you said no. Problem solved!

I took you to Chick Fil A on a night when they had Phineas and Ferb and Perry the Platypus. Apparently they are not nearly as popular as Toy Story 3, which is awesome, because there weren't many people there, but sad because I bet they never come back. You were so excited, your little head nearly popped off when they entered the room, but when we got to the front of the line? You took off in the other direction saying you were scared of them. After much coercion and deals, I finally at least got photographic proof of you seeing Phineas and Ferb - even if I had to be in it. Perry looked a bit odd - wrong shaped bill, but whatever.

This week, we're getting a hard freeze. Last year during the hard freeze our sprinkler bell thingy popped off. This year I was smart enough to turn off the sprinklers and wrap everything including that bell back flow thing-a-ma-jigger. So I was out wrapping the 3 faucets and the sprinkler thingy and I told you where I would be and I set you up watching TV. I was wrapping up the last faucet and I hear "Moooooooooommmmmmy, where aaaaaaaaaaare yooooooooou?" loud enough for all our neighbors to hear and then subsequently call CPS because they must believe I left you alone at the house. I kept answering you, because I hoped that even if you couldn't hear me, the people who heard you could hear me and know I'm here - and if I thought for a second you were hurt or truly scared I would have dropped everything, but you were fine and I knew it. I can only hope that my future grandchild does this to you at some point so you will understand why I was so frustrated with you.

Oh and this month we signed you up to play Tball. You do not like the idea of having to use the tee, you want to play REAL baseball where someone throws the ball to you. We do not know your team yet, but will find out in the next couple of weeks. In the mean time, we're working a bit on catching the ball and throwing the ball.

I think if there's one thing you could work on, it's your attitude. When things don't go your way, you burst out in tears. I said "don't open the bubbles in the car", you said "ok, but just let me check if the thingy is in there", I say "I already checked, it's in there and I said don't open them". BOOM tears. Not necessary. The teacher in Sunday school handed you the wrong sticker laden paper piece of bread, BOOM tears. I’m just not sure everything it worth tears.

Love,

Mommy

That little dude can read!

2011-01-11T11:07:00.001-06:00

So I've been bugging Landon a lot about whether he wants to learn to read or not, and he keeps saying no. And I keep thinking about all the free time I would have if he would just read to himself. But last night I froze the TV on a word that shows up occasionally on PBS - on their in between shows, but not commercials clippy things - the word was CAT. There was no picture of a cat, just the word in pink sparkly letters. I asked him if he knew what it said and he said "CAT."

I said "HEY! You can read!"

And he said "No I can't, I just know that word, because I like kitties."

So a little while later we were reading one of the Phineas and Ferb books he got for Christmas (terrible purchase on my part, they are chapter books and exactly the same as the episodes, only they take a lot longer to read, and have very few pictures) and he stopped me and pointed to the name "Stacy" and said "That says Stacy."

And I was like "Yes, yes it does! Do you realize you're reading?"

He continues to deny the ability - but it's so totally coming out, it's unbelievable. And wonderful and YAY!!

Monthly Newsletter 51

2011-01-03T12:15:00.002-06:00

Dear Landon,

This is quite possibly the hardest letter I think I will ever have to write, or at least I hope it doesn’t get any harder than this. Although, by the time you read it, you will be much older and already know what I’m going to say, so that gives me some comfort that I’m not actually giving you any kind of breaking news.

Last year about this time, your Daddy moved out. He moved out for what was supposed to be a temporary separation. A way for us to work out our issues and come back together. He’s decided that he’s done trying to fix things with me. And we are in the beginning stages of the divorce process.

You should know this has absolutely nothing to do with you. I mean, it will affect you, obviously, but the reasons have nothing to do with you. I hope you can learn from our mistakes, and your marriage will be better for it. Not that I’m going to get into that here.

It hurts me more than anything to feel that I failed you. I failed to keep our family together. The things that were important to me, like waking up in your own bed on Christmas morning, having a special traditional Christmas morning breakfast or Easter morning breakfast every year are going to logistically not be possible. It hurts me to think I have to give you up every other weekend, even though I know you will be safe and loved. You’re my lumpy pancake, so I guess this will count as one of your lumps, it wasn’t the first, and it probably won’t be the last. I hope in the end, you won’t be any lumpier than anyone else’s lumpy pancake. Right now, my job is to raise you to the best of my ability not to be a schmuck. And I’m doing the best I can.

This month has been quite a whirlwind, mostly due to Christmas. You had all kinds of Christmas stuff this month and a few extra things too. We went on a hay ride through a neighborhood with the church group and saw a live nativity scene. Possibly the best nativity scene I’ve ever seen. They actually acted out the Christmas story as it was read aloud instead of just standing around. We also had my company’s children’s Christmas Party – which, as always is a mountain of sugar. Of course you thought the optimal attraction was the glass elevator in the lobby.

You also had your first dental appointment. You were extremely frightened, not helped by the fact that all the children’s books about visiting the dentist include cavities and drills. You finally agreed to open your mouth in exchange for some Kung Zhu pet armor and also if you would be allowed to lay on top of me. Your visit included neither cavities nor drilling, but did include a little scraping of your teeth, which you said did hurt. As we left, you declared that since you didn’t have any cavities you would probably never have to go to the dentist again. Nice try, my child, nice try. They’ll see you again in 6 months.

Beginning when your Day Care closed on the 23^rd you and I spent the majority of the time together until this morning when I dropped you off at school. We played a lot and had a pretty awesome week, and we even took a trip to my college town. Sometimes I’m not aware of how much you are listening to me, but we went to the Bonfire Memorial and I explained to you what happened and how many people died. We went around the whole circle and looked in each arch. As we left you asked me questions about why they were building it wrong and what it looked like and how come they didn’t get burned. We stumbled upon a statue of the bonfire and I was able to explain to you about how they were building it, and the fact that they would build it completely and get off of it before lighting it. Later in the evening when we were talking about the bonfire memorial with my friends that we had met for dinner, you rattled off nearly all the information I had given you about the bonfire tragedy.

After a few hours of play at my friends’ house, we went through a drive though light display. You were almost asleep when we got there, although you livened right up for the lights. It was a nice display, although nowhere near as much stuff as the place you go in Athens with Grandma and Grandpa Wood. When we left you were so totally exhausted that you were asleep within a mile or two.

This weekend I also began my, get off my butt plan, and intend to spend at least 30 minutes outside with you each day – when we have enough day light to do it. So on Saturday and Sunday we went out on the cul-de-sac and you rode your scooter around and I rode my bike around in circles. You made up races and games and changed the rules on me mid game (Calvin Ball, anyone?). I probably didn’t get my heart rate up that much, but at least I was moving, that was kind of the point. So even if you don’t know it, I want you to be my work-out buddy.

Love,

Mama

Why you should probably hold a protest if I mention moving to your area.

2010-12-28T18:16:00.004-06:00

You may never again mail a package without having to stand in line and deal with disgruntled postal workers and the 40,000 people in line who brought in their packages and yet forgot to bring the address to which it needs to be sent.

Anyway, with my own hopes of avoiding such issues, I planned to mail the packages I was sending from a post office I know that has a kiosk thingy where you weigh it and stamp it yourself and put it in a little barrel thingy and lift the lever and poof your package has now disappeared into the postal realm.

So I was childless for the evening and thought that the best time to do such an errand was before picking up anyone else and after my lovely dinner I headed in that direction.

I weighed each of my packages, and paid for the stamps - one which was $2 less than the other and even though the more expensive one was smaller and lighter and supposedly traveling by the same priority mail...so confusing. One thing asked me for it's size and the other didn't and whatever, the whole ordeal was fine. It asked me to make sure my package would fit in the barrel thingy and I set it in there. It did indeed fit, so I went on about purchasing my stamp.

Upon completion of the transaction, I put some extra tape on my package, because it said I had to cover any and all "other" markings. Then I placed the larger of the two packages in the barrel and lifted the lever. And the lever would not come back down. I jiggled it and whacked on it. I yelled "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!!" Aaaaand. Nothing. I looked around, I asked my fellow late comers if they were mailing packages. They were not. I said "Good, because I think I just broke the post office, and I'm leaving before someone who is mailing a package comes after me."

Monthly Newsletter #50

2010-12-06T10:25:00.005-06:00

Dear Landon,

This month has been one of your funniest months yet. You unintentionally do things that make me laugh. Like when I asked you to close the shutter and first you peeked out the window. Then you turned around and said “Mommy! You are not going to believe what I just saw!” Wide eyed and completely amazed, you described the same snowflake lights that the lady across the street has put out every year.

You amaze me completely with your outgoing attitude. Everyone you meet is a friend, you speak to adults without any hesitation, you ask questions – good questions – of speakers in front of large groups of people. These are things I still have trouble with today – I am so glad you don’t have the same problem.

I took you ice skating this month, after we got back from New York. You had wanted to do it at Rockefeller Center, but we didn’t have time really. You discovered that ice skating is not nearly as easy as they make it look on TV. I discovered that it wasn’t nearly as hard as I remember it being 20 years ago when I clung to the wall like a poster. Oh and possibly, the skates have gotten better, much more ankle support.

You also went on your very first Girl Scout camping trip. And loved it. You haven’t stopped talking much about how you need to be a boy scout – of course, they don’t start cub scouts until first grade, so it will be a while, you may just have to enjoy being a tag-a-long to Girl Scout trips for a while.

I also just want to mention this, because I’m almost positive that it will disappear and I want it recorded for posterity’s sake. When asked if you want white or wheat bread…you pick wheat – of your own volition. And when there is cheese? You want real cheddar cheese, no processed cheese slices – unless they are in your grilled cheese sandwich, and actually you still prefer the real cheese in those too. Given a choice between fries and apples? You pick apples way more often than you pick fries.

On to the things we need to work on. Please stop bursting into tears every 10 seconds. Seriously, if I decide to leave you in the car for the 30 seconds it will take me to get money out of the ATM from which I can SEE YOU, is not an assault on you. Also, when I shut a door that you had planned on shutting yourself – not a reason to cry. And while we’re at it, crust on your sandwich or sandwich cut in the “wrong” shape – also not reasons for complete meltdowns. Enough with the drama queen (king) antics. GAH!!!

Also, if you tell me you don’t want breakfast and then I drive all the way to the school to drop you off and we pull into the parking lot and then you announce you want McDonalds. I am not amused. It is not a perfect plan to spend more time with Mommy and maybe she’ll forget to drop me off at school.

And finally, the last thing (I know there are a lot this month), please stop pretending like you don’t know the routines we have. When you get in the car you have to get in your seat and put your seat belt on. I mean really, it’s not a surprise, it’s not a new thing, it’s the same thing we do every time we get in the car. Just like everyday when I drop you off at school, you can be assured that I will return to pick you up, I’ve never stayed at school with you, there’s no reason to ask me to do that, it won’t happen and it just makes us both start our day off badly.

All in all not a bad month, and I’m looking forward to Christmas too.

Love,

Mama

Sometimes the only way to get your frustrations out is to gripe about them on a public forum of some kind. Possibly a blog.

2010-12-02T14:54:00.000-06:00

Oh look! A blog!

For two days I've been looking at this weird hold on the checking account for some kind of construction company, for $0.01. I called and asked them about it and the lady read to me exactly what I have on my screen. Yes, I know it says that, it's what it says on my screen, but I was hoping you could do something about it. Nope, not until it clears your account. Yes, but it says "construction" and we all know that means $1,000s and I don't want to deal with that AFTER it passes. Nothing can be done until it clears your account.

But I also got home yesterday to a call from the same bank, re: my allowance account and some fraudulent activity. Like $300 for shoes, $200 for sporting goods, another $200 for shoes...I guess they recognized that a person who buys shoes exactly once every 2 or 3 years is probably not going to go out and buy $500 worth of shoes and they caught and declined those charges (not to mention the fact that I do not live in New England.) What they failed to catch was the $40 in gas at a gas station in New York. But it was still pending, so they couldn't do anything about it. I kept getting told that over and over again. Nothing can be done until it clears your account.

I went in at lunch to get a new debit card, since mine was frozen post the shoe shopping spree and subsequent non-authorization of said shoe shopping spree. I even told that lady what was going on and she looked it up and said there was nothing that could be done until it cleared my account.

Well it cleared my account. So I called. And was told I had to go in to a branch and fill out a dispute form. WHY DIDN'T THEY GIVE ME THE DISPUTE FORM WHILE I WAS THERE!? I could have filled it out once it cleared and mailed it in. GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Luckily the construction one didn't clear. So there's that.

What does your car antenna do?

2010-11-17T15:30:00.001-06:00

Landon: Mommy? What's that thing that hangs off the side of the car and goes like this [stretches arm out straight in front of him and lifts it up and down a few times]

Me: The antenna?

Landon: Oh! So the car can feel where it's going! Like a crab!

Me: [stifling laughter] No, sweetie, it's for the radio so the sound comes in clearly, but I do like your explanation better!

Monthly Newsletter #49

2010-11-12T15:05:00.004-06:00

Dear Landon,

Wow, this month went by fast! I actually didn’t even get the pictures up from last month before I was supposed to be writing this letter to you. Oops! We did so much this month that it’s hard to narrow it down to just a few to talk about.

October was such a nice month weather wise, that every time a festival or something came up, I agreed to go. We went to Greekfest – which was mostly about eating for me, and mostly about jumping in moonwalks for you.

We went to the Renaissance festival, which I’m not sure you appreciated as much as you might when you’re a little bit older, but it did help you settle on being a knight for Halloween.

We went to Dewberry Farms – I thought they’d have a better pumpkin selection being a pumpkin patch and all, but the games were awesome, and we’re totally going back every year for as long as you will agree to go.

We also went to Zoo Boo. Honestly, the Halloween stuff the zoo was up to was mediocre at best, but we did manage to see their dinosaur exhibit. It put the one in Bastrop to shame. And I’m beginning to think we need a membership. I just found out that they got new Rhinos this week for their new African exhibit.

But honestly all of those were just the beginning. You took your first vacation. We went to New Jersey and New York and visited my Great Aunt Mary Lou. We took Grandma and Grandpa Logan and Great Grandma Rowland. Mary Lou’s parrot, Pedro, just adored you. Every morning we would get up and if you didn’t go in the room where he was right away he would just keep saying “HELLO!!” until you came in and talked to him.

Our original purpose in going to New York was because you did a study on sky scrapers, and wanted to go to the top of a really tall building and look out the window. In preparation for the trip I bought you a digital camera it’s not an expensive one, although it supposedly will take better pictures than the one I was using previously. I also bought myself one, but then on Sunday during our trip I fell on the beach trying to avoid a wave and managed to drop it in the water. No worries, I now have a new camera and two of everything else that came with it. Also, I now have the extra warranty plan. You didn’t take too many pictures, but you did take some pretty good ones of some geese in the park by Mary Lou’s house.

We went to a bunch of the usual touristy stuff. State of Liberty, Ground Zero, Central Park, Central Park Zoo, Coney Island (although closed for the season) and the New York Aquarium. We had a great time and I hope to take you back again one day when you’re a little older and we can see a Broadway show, and see some more of the city.

I remember only bits and pieces of the trip I took to New York when I was your age, so I’m not all that hopeful that you’ll remember the whole trip, but I do want you to remember some of it anyway.

Because Halloween fell in the middle of our trip, we also went trick or treating while we were there. The police department shut down the street one block from Mary Lou’s house, and nearly everyone on the street participated in the festivities. They started super early, in Texas we don’t start trick or treating until dusk. There were people already out at 2pm in New Jersey. I felt a little out of place, since I wasn’t carrying a glass of wine, but everyone LOVED your knight in shining armor costume – and you really hammed it up for them.

We did learn a few lessons from this trip. 1) I over packed. Not only was our suitcase over packed, our carry-on was over packed. 2) Some planes have the cigarette lighter style plugs for electronic devices. It would have been nice to know that for your DVD player. 3) Cameras hardly ever recover from dips in the ocean. 4) Maps, both general and detailed are good to have on hand, in case, say, you’re headed to leave for the airport and the exit you’re supposed to take is blocked for some reason and you need to find an alternate route.

I hope this was a memorable trip for you, at least in the short term, and a few stick with you longer term. I hope to take you on lots more vacations.

As far as your personal developments, you have become extra lovey this month, lots of extra smooches without asking. Your Phineas and Ferb obsession continues, and I may be encouraging it, because that show is full of awesome.

Love,
Mama

Um, back from New York.

2010-11-04T16:19:00.001-05:00

Monthly Newsletter not quite written yet, but I did finally add those pictures to the last one.

Honestly, it will be at least Monday before you should look for a new one.

Monthly Newsletter #48

2010-10-07T09:25:00.004-05:00

Dear Landon,

You’re four. You’re awesome. And I love you with all of my heart. I couldn’t have asked for a better child. Well, maybe I could have, but I doubt I would have gotten one. You are a very reasonable 4 year old.

This month, we went to my company’s weekend retreat in Bastrop. I had done a little bit of research about the area and decided on a few things I wanted to do and a few things you might want to do, besides the resort activities they had available. I paid for an extra night there, and I am so glad I did. It was a long drive with just the two of us, but I had gone by the library and borrowed a bunch of books on CD for you to listen to as we drove there. You climbed in the car when I picked you up from school that afternoon and just about peed yourself with excitement over the books. You prefer the kind that has a book you can turn the pages and look at the pictures, so I only got that kind. You are very concerned about being on the correct page and occasionally would ask for me to make sure you were on the right page.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I think you are in the very beginning stages of reading. When I ask if you can read, you tell me “no.” You say it is because you don’t know all the words (if that’s your definition, I’m pretty sure that most of the world is illiterate – I just tried reading a book a few weeks ago in which I had to keep a dictionary nearby and used it 20 times in the first chapter, because I didn’t know that many words.) But when I ask you what certain words are, you can sound out the small ones and are generally right.

We spent a lot of time at the “beach” pool at the resort on Saturday morning and you made friends with a few kids and a couple of grown-ups – a huge change from the kid who wouldn’t dare to move when encountering a stranger just 2 years ago. I am so proud of you and how far you’ve come. We then tried to ride the bikes, but the ones your size needed a few adjustments for height and the training wheels were set for a kid who is about to get rid of them, so that didn’t last long (maybe next year). You took it in stride, there was no fit over the fact that we had to think of something else to do, you just said “Ok, let’s go see the dinosaurs then.”

So we ventured off the resort to see the dinosaurs at Dino Park. The place was really neat and they had all kinds of fun stuff to see and do. Not Disney World by any means, but fun none the less. The dinosaurs are constructed to be life size, so I was just imagining what it was like to be driving behind the truck carrying the Triceratops when they first got it. I bought you a fandex of dinosaurs before we went and we looked up each one – not important to know their details or anything, just to make sure that dinosaur was in our book. You were only afraid of the Tyrannosaurus Rex. The visit resurged an interest in Dinosaur Train, so it’s nice that it coincided with a few new episodes as well.

But nothing can compare to your new found love: Phineas and Ferb. The resort only had a few channels and the only really kid oriented one was Disney. And we discovered Phineas and Ferb. And you are in LOVE with that show.

I have to admit this was kind of a test run of a short vacation for us. And I have to say, I can’t wait to take you to New York now. I think it’s going to be awesome.

Your birthday party was the best ever I think. Moonbounce, swimming, the food, the sheer number of people – people who came all say they had a great time. In fact, I’m thinking we’re going to need a moonbounce for Thanksgiving. Just because it would be totally awesome. I’m also not sure now how to top the cake for next year, but I’m sure we’ll think of something.

The only thing that’s developed this month that I could do without is the materialism that developed from watching commercials. Previous to Phineas and Ferb we got most of your shows from PBS, or PBS Sprout – which for all intents and purposes is commercial free. Disney, which is home to Phineas and Ferb, is not. So I now spend a lot of time saying, “No, No we can’t buy that.” Or, “We’ll see, maybe it could be one of your prizes for earning stickers.”

All in all, excellent work, keep it up.

Love,

Mama

Raising a Grown-up

2010-09-21T14:06:00.001-05:00

Occasionally you will hear my mother say something to the effect of "Kristine's been a grown-up since she was 4."

I never really quite got what she meant until this morning.

We were running a little later than normal and I suggested breakfast in the drive thru at Mickey D's. Also I needed gas, so he could eat it while I pumped gas and then we'd go to school.

I discovered roughly two weeks ago that if I hold onto the beloved chocolate milk until he was done eating, then he's more likely to eat and not fill up on chocolate milk.

Well, he ate his sausage Mc*Griddle and was finishing it up as I parked in front of the school but hadn't gotten to the chocolate milk yet. I asked him if he wanted the chocolate milk or if he wanted me to bring it with me when I came to get him this afternoon.

He said "Bring it wif you this afternoon....but Mommy?"

"Yes."

"Don't forget to take it in to work wif you, so it doesn't get hot, okay?"

"Ok, I'll take it in and put it in the fridge at work."

"Ok, good."

Conversations at the water cooler.

2010-09-20T11:13:00.001-05:00

You might want to put your water down before reading this one.

"Are you taking all our water?"

As I fill my 2 quart pitcher to make tea for the day. "You do realize is comes from the tap, right?"

"Yeah, but isn't something like only 3% of the water in the world drinkable?"

"If I'm not mistaken, it all gets recycled at some point anyway, right?"

"I guess, the cycle of water. Yeah, but let's not talk about that."

I'm guessing he knew where I was headed with that, but let this be a lesson to you, you should probably shouldn't argue water consumption with someone who knows about how waste water treatment plants work and that odds are 3 or 4 people already drank this water once anyway.

As my environmental prof said "Ivory may be 99.4% pure...but sewage is actually better than 99.4% pure water, so think about that. And the closer you are to the equator, the more likely you're drinking something someone else already did."

So this week has been fun...

2010-09-14T11:20:00.001-05:00

NOT.

Between apprehending a burglar on the street on Sunday evening, and coming home to a dog crate full of puke and poop last night, thinking that the lady I had ordered books from was coming also, since she sent me a card that said she'd be there on 9/13 and I believe yesterday was 9/13 - but she never showed, which was okay, since I was busy with the cleaning and trying to get the horrid smell out of the house anyway...can I just say how much I'm looking forward to what today has in mind for me? And also maybe I should win some kind of award for the longest sentence ever.

************

Oh sure, you want to know about the burglar, right?

At roughly 8 pm Sunday night I got a knock on the door. I had trouble getting out the door due to the barking dogs to ask what was going on, and the guy was waving at me and shaking his hand like a phone. When I finally got out there he yelled to me to call the cops. I heard another man yelling something about "YOU WERE IN MY CAR IN MY GARAGE!!!"

So I called 911, for I kid you not, the 8th time in my life.

1 - watched a guy fly out the windshield of the box truck he was driving after it hit the concrete barrier, then watched the truck bounce around a little and hit him as he laid over the concrete barrier,

2 - guy stops in the right lane of the freeway to chit chat with people on the side of the road, turns his car off, in the dark no lights, IN THE LANE, street race behind him hits his car, (1& 2 happened over the same weekend)

3 - my own car accident where woman left car in neutral to fill up gas then was surprised when it rolled down hill into the street into my car as I drove by,

4 - boy runs stop sign into side of my truck,

5 - woman driving drunk pulls into oncoming traffic at intersection to wait for light to change to turn left, then proceeds to rear end another car a little while later as wells as a few very close side swipes,

6 - cow loose on road (why yes I do live in Texas),

7 - kids on the street looking in cars suspiciously (get off my lawn!!),

and now, 8 - burglar.

As it turns out the suspect had already gone through one of the cars parked on the street and proceeded to go into the man on the end of the street's garage (smart choice dude, that guy's a lawyer) and was pilfering through his car when he caught him. He chased him through several backyards and 2-3 other men and a couple dogs on the street joined the chase. They caught him in front of my house and stood watch over him while waiting on the police, football linebacker style. He gave up at some point and sat on the curb.

The police put him in the car within about a minute of arriving and then moved the investigation down to the end of the street where the garage portion of the crime took place.

I went out shortly after that to talk to the neighbors. Nearly everyone on that end of the street had come out by then. At that point we discovered that other cars may have been involved and everyone went around checking their stuff, and discussing how we should really lock our walk-in garage doors. And the police said there had been several burglaries on another nearby street - maybe it's the same guy.

And that was the end of it, except for the whole unsettling feeling of violation, which I'm sure will fade with time.

The good points however, are: 1) they caught the guy. 2) our neighbors are apparently vigilant enough and care enough to help a neighbor in need. 3) that guy didn't have a gun, and no one was shot. 4) After the initial knock, Scarlett did her job as protector, knowing something was going on, sat in the foyer and guarded the door until the police got there. She barked occasionally and I even tried to kennel her to calm her down, but she refused to move until she thought everything was cool again. (Fiona hid somewhere. And Landon sat on the bed watching a movie, unaware of anything.)

************

Well, dog puke doesn't sound all that exciting now. Just annoying. Plus I had to put the crate back together this morning and I dropped half of it on the top of my foot and have a huge bruise forming as we speak. Also I believe Scarlett was better this morning, she was able to hold down food, which she couldn't do last night or I would have dropped her at the vet's office this morning.

Monthly Newsletter #47

2010-09-09T09:03:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

I don’t know that I can pin point anything specific you’ve done this month developmentally. I know you’re beginning to sound out small words, and recognize the letters that words begin with, so that’s pretty cool. You’ve begun to realize that a plan we make is not for right now and not necessarily for tomorrow, but somewhere in the future. Plans to go to New York. Plans for your birthday party, etc.

I am trying to involve you in decision making, because it’s a skill you need. I’m catching a bit of flack for letting you decide where we go on vacation from some people, but honestly? It’s your vacation too. You have proven to be an excellent decision maker for things like hot dogs vs. pizza at your birthday party (hot dogs) or whether should see the Statue of Liberty, and Coney Island while in New York (yes).

You have proven to not be such a great decision maker when it comes to clothes. Just this morning I sent you off to school wearing the same shirt you wore yesterday – picking battles and all that. On the bright side, you are getting yourself dressed. However, I was a little concerned when you threw the shirt I had picked out for you out of the closet and closed the door this morning. When you came out you were proudly wearing yesterday’s shirt. Granted, it was not stained or visibly dirty, and it did match the shorts I had picked out, but still, the principle of the thing. After a brief kerfuffle I gave in, but I told you that under no circumstances would you be wearing it again tomorrow – and you agreed to those terms.

You recently discovered my cowboy boots in my closet and have been wearing them around the house every chance you get. Occasionally announcing a need for a lasso or a vest to complete your ensemble.

You are still having a bit of trouble with change. Your Sunday school class changed from one room to another, and I could not BELIEVE the fit you threw. Under no circumstances were you about to walk into a new classroom, how dare I even suggest such a thing?! You chose to play with the babies in the nursery instead. It took me a week of explaining that it was the same class, just a different room, and that this new room might even have some cool stuff to do in it that the old room didn’t have. And you STILL threw a fit about not being in the “right” class. You did however, make it through the class and decided that it was a pretty fun class after all.

You continue to amaze me, and complete strangers with your sense of boundaries. While standing in line for hamburgers and hot dogs at a playground dedication you ran loose around the building. I had given you no instruction as to where you were and weren’t allowed to be, but knew you’d always come back. I do count my blessings that you have those innate boundaries and will not wander too far, I probably would have already lost any other child that I know if they were mine.

As the summer ends and we pick back up with the school year, you’ve asked to be enrolled in a sports class at school. We had originally planned to enroll you in a music class, but when I looked up what you’d be learning in that class…well – I’m not impressed, you pretty much could move on to the 6-8 year old class if only you knew how to read – as you’ve mastered all the skills they talk about teaching the 4-5 year olds. So maybe in a year or so I’ll be able to find a one on one piano teacher for you. Not that I needed any other encouragement than you wanting to do it, but it is half the price of the music lessons and during school hours, which means I don’t have to take you anywhere. Anyway, I signed you up for the sports stuff beginning this week. I hope it’s all you dreamed of.

What I really need you to work on this month is our drop offs. We are having some issues with drop offs in the morning again. I’m not sure what really changed, I have even tried going back to bribing you with stickers and a prize when you fill your chart with 10 stickers. You say you know I am always coming back to get you, and I know you are fine by the time I turn the corner in the hall, so what gives?

Love,

Mama

Hmmm

2010-09-05T15:03:00.001-05:00

Am I the only person who has trouble knowing what to do with myself with a contractor in the house?

I don’t want to follow them around like I don’t trust them, but I also don’t want to be unavailable if they have questions…

In other new – AC went on strike yesterday. Unacceptable in 100° weather.

Also – newsletter is typed…on my office computer…so – look for it on Tuesday.

Preparation

2010-08-30T12:17:00.001-05:00

I may live to regret this, but I let my 4 year old decide our vacation destination this year. He studied skyscrapers for a week in school and he asked to go to New York. He asked because he wanted to go up in a tall building in an elevator and look out the window. I told him we could do that in Houston, but we'd go to New York. And so it is planned. We're going to New York.

A couple Fridays ago I took him to downtown Houston. We rode the light rail to the stop closest to the JP Morgan Chase Building. We got off with a map in our hand and walked like tourists through down town Houston (I'm not sure Houston actually gets a lot of tourists, but between the picture taking and the map, we certainly played the part.) We rode up to the sky lobby on the 60th floor.

He was mostly impressed by the pool on the roof of one of the buildings (I'm pretty sure it was a hotel, but I didn't confirm) and the echo of the mostly tiled sky lobby.

Now that we've done that, and I've paid for the tickets to New York...he tells me that he was under the impression that there was a building named "New York." But he is excited that we'll be going to the Statue of Liberty and the Central Park Zoo (a la Madagascar, although disappointed that the animals will probably not speak English) and in general the idea of Coney Island. And the whole idea that there is a train like the light rail that goes under ground...well, that's just silly, how would we be able to get on it?

Not Really Sure I Want to Know

2010-08-26T16:51:00.001-05:00

Exactly how the Pets are recycled. They're not in my water, are they?

Of all the things/signs I've noticed lately that made me miss blogging, this is about the only one I can post without seemingly trying to be crude. (Um, I thought lude meant the same thing, but apparently it is only a slang term for a Quaalude - which I also just learned is not spelled "quaylude"...why I should blog more often, I am learning every time I post something.)

Monthly Newsletter #46

2010-08-04T20:42:00.003-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month has been nothing, if not action packed. Between the parties and the circus and having your favorite 14 month old stay with us for a while – let’s just say we’re doing okay. Actually having the baby at the house made things amazingly easier. You love him and play with him and want to set a good example for him, which even made getting out of the house in the morning and drop offs at school easier.

You have had a sudden bout of materialism. I’m not sure where it came from, but in the big box store the other day you started mentioning all the things on the shelves that we “don’t have at home” and that we should buy. I told you that we can’t buy everything just because we don’t have it. And you said “well, WHY NOT?!?!?” And I pulled out some good old standby parenting sayings I had no idea were in there like “because I said so.” And “because I’m not made of money.”

You have started problem solving fairly well on your own. I tried to get you to think about how things are done and why for exactly this reason, and I love that it’s blossoming in you. Although you have started making the meanest face (scrunched nose, squinty eyes, “UGH”) when I won’t let you carry out some of your solutions – balancing yourself on top of a pile of pillow on top of a wobbly barstool is hardly my idea of safe.

I don’t know where you’re picking up your new words these days , but “Holy Gosh” has made an appearance more than once. I know we’ve been working on perspective and also perforation. And now when you catch on that something has change without your consent, you say “wait a minute!” while you think about what just happened.

A month or so ago I bought 2 very large buckets, I bought them as holding stations for things to go upstairs and things to go downstairs. You, found the red one most appealing and promptly dumped the contents on the floor and began sneaking around the house underneath it, like some sort of cartoon character might do with a bush. You tell me you are “sneaking me.” You have also mentioned while wearing the bucket that your name is Mr. Bucket – “Bucky” for short.

This month was also Zoey’s 3rd birthday. We went to her party and upon seeing her tree house birthday cake, you declared you would need one of those for your birthday party, except you wanted monkeys on yours. To which I turned to your Aunt Kathleen and said “you’re hired.”

We went to the circus this month for the first time. We went early and were able to look at some of the animals prior to the show. You would not get within 10 feet of the fence of any of them except the baby zebra and miniature horses. I have to admit it saved us from being sprayed by a tiger – some people were not so lucky. You also were okay with the clowns, but had no desire to participate up close and personal with them, you preferred to watch from a distance. All in all you had a good time, and I spent too much money – so, it was a pretty normal outing.

I also took you to a movie. It wasn't your first movie, because I let the Day Care handle that, but since you said you were well behaved for it, I took you to see Toy Story 3. You really liked it, and the whole idea of movies in general, so I guess we'll start seeing one every once in a while in the actual theater now.

This month they started up a new Sunday School class at the church for 3 and 4 year olds. And we tried it. For someone who complained about them “not even reading a story” in the nursery, I had an awfully hard time convincing you to go in the new class. However, when I went to pick you up, you were all grins. Apparently in that hour you watched a short movie, made a door hanger, had a snack, and made a small book, and I’m not sure what the blank construction paper accompanied by the envelope with picture cutouts was about, but you certainly liked it. I don’t know why you won’t believe me when I tell you I think you’ll like something. Probably just stubborn. I have no clue where you might get that from. Nope, no clue at all.

Love,

Mama

Monthly Newsletter #45

2010-07-06T20:28:00.004-05:00

Dear Landon,

Generally when I start a newsletter I look back at last month’s so that I don’t repeat stuff I already said and I have kind of a cutoff from that to where I should begin this time. I don’t have that luxury today as I write this newsletter 3 days late from a network run by people who don’t want me to blog, but work. GAH!

So this month you have begun your stand up routine in earnest. You are collecting jokes. Some of them are good. (“Why do chickens sit on eggs?” “Because they don’t have chairs!” or “Why do swordfish have swords?” “Because they don’t have guns!”) Some are not. (“What did the big mountain say to the smaller mountain?” “Get a medium mountain!!” [And you replace mountain with just about any other noun and you repeat the joke incessantly.]) I love watching you develop a sense of humor.

Your school also came to its senses and evened out the classes, you are now in a class of eight kids. You have more one on one attention. They dropped the homework for the summer (THANK GOD!) and you are doing two week long units on various “extreme” places like the arctic, the rainforest, or caves. All of this is keeping you much more interested in going to school and having a good time and much less interested in figuring out a way to get out of it. I think your new teacher is also a big part of that. Although she’s a little bit stricter, she’s much more interactive, so I’m hoping that this new found enthusiasm will continue through the school year.

You went on your very first field trip ever. At first you told me you didn’t want to go. You had to be talked into going to school that day. But when I picked you up I got all kinds of details out of you that day. You knew what color your seatbelt was, what color your teacher’s seat belt was, the texture of the potato chips you ate (bumpy, or for those of us who remember “Rrrruffles have rrridges.”) You are STILL talking about the park you went to and how awesome it was and which bus you rode in. Today you are on your second field trip. They took you to the movies. They are very brave. You have never been quiet while watching TV or a movie, in fact you are the opposite of quiet when watching a movie. But I told you that if things go well today and you have fun, that we will pick another movie and go see that together.

For the fourth of July this year we went to Grandma and Grandpa Logan’s Lake house. We had fireworks two nights in a row. You do not like how loud they are, but we found ear plugs for you and you relaxed enough to enjoy them. On the second night after a full day of playing in the lake and running around with no nap – you fell asleep less than 40 feet from where fireworks were being set off. You have to be seriously tired to fall asleep while fireworks are going off that close to you.

You have also developed a habit of taking my camera from me. You actually take some interesting pictures. Much better than the ones you took of Shane and Elizabeth’s wedding. In fact I’m thinking of getting you your own camera. Or better yet, giving you mine and getting me a better one – I haven’t done it yet, because the rational person in me can’t reconcile the fact that you would then as a 3 year old be in possession of a $150 camera (granted, it’s not worth $150 now, but it was when I bought it.)

There’s not a lot to work on this month. Partially because you’re in my favorite age right now, and partially because I’m letting a lot of stuff slide due to my being overwhelmed with work. So keep up the good stuff, and know that the stuff I’m letting you slide on will probably come back to bite you in the butt one day.

Love,
Mama

I learn something new every day

2010-06-30T13:02:00.001-05:00

Landon got a bat in his happy meal - not the kind I can sue for, but a stuffed toy one. Also, the mammal kind, not the baseball kind.

He asked me if I was afraid of bats. I said I was afraid of pet bats (mostly because I don't want him thinking he could get a pet bat and I would be fine with it.) And I mentioned that I didn't particularly care for the bats that are out in the day time since those are the ones who tend to have rabies.

He announced that his bat was turnal. Because if he's not "notturnal" (nocturnal), he must be "turnal." A turnal bat = a day time bat.

Father's Day

2010-06-21T11:20:00.001-05:00

In honor of the four fathers in our family, we all gathered at "Big Joshua's House" and made them cook for us. And I proceeded to only take two pictures of any of the fathers and neither of those came out very good. But I do have a small glimpse into possibly why this house is referred to as "Big Joshua's" instead of "Aunt Kelly's" or "Uncle Hekker's" even though he doesn't pay the mortgage.

I really suck at this

2010-06-06T16:09:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of starting all my non-monthly newsletter posts by saying how sorry i am about how long it's been or that I have a new plan. When the reality is that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Essentially, I'm overwhelmed. I have entirely too much on my plate right now and the thing that I can put off is this. I don't get paid for it, and no one will take me to jail for not taking care of it. In addition I get fun surprises like a check engine light and a broken pool valve thingy.

So - in conclusion...I will no longer be apologizing for not writing here often enough. I'll do it when I can.

Monthly Newsletter #44

2010-06-04T16:06:00.002-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month has been rough. I don’t know what happened specifically, but I know that my work exploded on top of me and I have just enough energy in the evening to come home, take a shower, climb into bed and watch TV until I fall asleep and do it all over again the next day. And I can only guess you’re having a similarly rough month. Early this month you figured out, or maybe I figured out that you figured out, that if you tell me your tummy hurts or your mouth hurts that you can play with Grandma all day instead of going to school. And unfortunately Grandma even told you that as long as it wasn’t Tuesday it was okay with her. Because of the idea that you could go play with Grandma instead of going to school, you have become a holy terror to drop off in the mornings.

Two weeks ago I tried a new system by which you are supposed to let me drop you off with just our routine hugs, smooches, mojos, and secret handshake and also behave at school all day and you would get a prize – that week it was the Zoo. It didn’t work very well for the first half of the week but I let you slide and you did great on Thursday and Friday so we went to the zoo anyway. Last week, I dropped it, because you didn’t seem interested. This week, I made some adjustments to my plan and we now have a chart on the refrigerator, each day has 2 boxes. One if for your behavior at school and one for letting me drop you off without a huge fit. And I let you pick a prize. You picked a toy car – to be bought on Friday evening. And you were doing so well up until this morning. I think I’ll let you slide again, if this was the only blip for the week, but you won’t know until Friday. I figure 87.5% is still a passing grade.

This month you have been working on developing your sense of humor. You find things that are out of their normal context completely hilarious. Eating a road sign like a cracker. HAHAHAHAHA. A shoe for a boat. HAHAHAHA. You also are making up a new language, not that it’s consistent or anything, but at the end of a story you say nonsense words like “kee ka kye.” Or “bula coo” and I have to say “And what does that mean?” And you tell me, but it’s oh so funny to have your own language. Some times your made up words do actually mean something, and it’s a little irritating when you latch on to a work like “porn” I just hope I can stop you from saying it in public, or CPS may be knocking on my door. You also have latched on to a fairly decent joke about why chickens sit on eggs (because they don’t have chairs!) Your timing could use some work, you don’t give the listener any time to think – but I’m glad you have that sense of humor.

A couple weeks ago you were made Star of the Week at school. They gave us the poster on Monday and said I needed to bring it back on Tuesday – you know, as if it wasn’t 6:15 in the evening and I don’t have a job or anything. We went over to Hobby Lobby and picked out a bunch of stickers and paper and stuff. I asked you to pick out ribbon and you picked out a red zigzag and a pink sparkly ribbon. Which is fine with me, but the pink didn’t really go with the whole theme of boyish likes you have (superman, football, school stuff, fishing, and cars.) I went ahead and bought it because you threw a huge fit about it when I tried to get you to pick a different color. And I tried not to use it, but you insisted. I have to admit it didn’t really look all that bad. Of course the picture machine at Walgreens where I sent the pictures to be printed boke down that night and they didn’t bother to tell me, so I sent you to school with an incomplete poster and brought the pictures when I came to pick you up that evening – by Thursday they still hadn’t done anything you’re your poster – must have been truly important to have it there on Tuesday. You’ve now been Star of the Week for like 3 weeks – so I can’t complain too much about the lag, but it’s still irritating.

We went to Dylan’s Birthday party at the beach on Memorial Day weekend. You got bit all over the face by mosquitoes or some weird green bug that didn’t care about Off and certainly wasn’t any kind of bug I’ve ever seen before. On Sunday we woke up and you looked so bad, and your eye was so swollen that I called the nurse line at our insurance company, we also tried not to go anywhere because it looked like I beat the crap out of you.

So in conclusion, it was a rough month. We’ll try to have a better month this month.

Love,
Mama

Starburst

2010-05-13T15:02:00.001-05:00

Starburst is the only candy I know of that comes in different flavors/colors that always has the exact same number of each color/flavor in each package (obv.. I'm talking about the regular cash register/vending machine size.)

It is an engineer's dream.

Monthly Newsletter #43

2010-05-03T20:29:00.004-05:00

Dear Landon,

You’re a nut. I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you that or not, because I’m your mother, but you are a nut! And I love it. When you find out something new, you shake your head very quickly side to side with wide eyes and say “Can you even bleeve it?” Most days I can get you to do anything I want you to by making a race out of it. I race you to the bathroom, I race you to the front door of the school, and I race you to the classroom. It’s kind of exhausting, but I’m glad I at least found something that helps.

You are really very helpful around the house. You drive me around on your plasma car in the house; you will take me from the bedroom to the kitchen and tell me you will pick me up again in 5 minutes. It’s kind of like having a taxi driver/tour guide, you will take me where I want you to, but then you tell me how long I am going to stay there – as in “be back at the bus in 2 hours!”

I’m not sure where you’re getting your ideas, but I like them so far. Your first idea was to go to New York. It came after a week of studying skyscrapers in school. You said you wanted to go to New York and go up in an elevator in a really tall building. Your next idea was to sleep in a tent. So I took you to my parents’ lake house to sleep in a tent! When we went out to get in the tent that night you decided that you did NOT want to sleep in the tent, I decided to set up the tent in the living room when we got home and see if we could accomplish tent sleeping in there. We could not. But we did finally break out the portable DVD player you were given shortly after birth so you could watch a movie in the tent and you have been watching it ever since. In fact, you’d rather sit on the bed with that thing and watch a DVD than watch it on the real TV – which I find just plain odd. But it does allow me to watch my own show or read, so I’m not all that bothered by it.

I recently got a note home from the teacher in the form of what you can do, what you can almost do and what you can’t do. You are doing everything the listed except something about geographic thinking (um, I’m not sure what that means, but you got an “almost”) and writing (can I just mention that you’re 3 – and who cares? – but you did get an “almost” on that one too.) Anyway, apparently you are very smart, but you like to do things “Landon’s way.” And that you realize that it’s school and you have to follow the school and class rules. To which I responded “Yes, I’m teaching him to think through and solve his own problems or ways to do any given activity, so he comes up with his own way of doing things in order to do that. And we have spoken with him a lot about following rules and doing what you’re told and not questioning everything, because the teachers don’t have time to explain it to everyone.” So, I’m sorry that I’ve been a portion of your problems in school, but I think the problem solving skills you’re getting from my system are going to help you more later in life. It kind of all stems from my philosophy that I got from a woman who has two super genius children, perfect SAT scores, top of their class, etc. When asked about her children, one thing that stuck with me was that she said she tried not to ask yes or no questions. She tried to mostly ask open ended questions so they had to think and give more of a response. I am trying that approach with you – not that I feel like you need to be a super perfect scoring genius or anything, but because I think it will give you better skills for learning in the long run.

I discovered a link this month to your bad behavior at school and illnesses. I think you also discovered that if you tell me your tummy hurts or your mouth hurts that you get to spend the day with Grandma. I’m just going to let you know right now…I’m on to you. I indulge you in a lot of things. Want to go to New York? Sure, we’ll go to New York. Want to ride me around on the back of your plasma car? Sure, I’ll get on there and we’ll see if it works. Want to set up a tent in the living room? Sure, let me just move the furniture out of the way. Want to paint some rocks to put in our potted plants? Sure, let me get the paint. But school? School is non-negotiable – you have to go and you can’t weasel your way out with fake illnesses and you better behave while your there. Got it?

Love,
Mama

Placeholder

2010-05-03T09:23:00.001-05:00

I cannot believe that today is the 3rd. Did someone press fast forward?

GAH.

So, yeah - I owe you a newsletter, which I will try to get written today - but I can't post it with the pictures all in place until I get home anyway.

In the meantime, enjoy this shot of Landon's first glance into the cooler holding the live crawfish awaiting their tasty demise.

Why I maybe shouldn't be left alone for very long.

2010-05-01T14:19:00.002-05:00

So this morning I woke up, backwashed the pool, got my eyebrows done, started a fire in the oven causing enough smoke to actually test one of the smoke detectors in the house. Yes, it works - although I'm kind of alarmed by just how much smoke had to accumulate before it did go off.

You know, there's a reason I don't store stuff in the oven. And what possessed me to put the pizza boxes in there last night is beyond me. This is not the first time I have started a fire in the oven - last time was several years ago and a birthday cake with plastic wrap on it. Maybe this lesson will last me 5 or so years too.

My house looks pretty smoke free at the moment, but still smells like a burnt marshmallow.

Fire Building

2010-04-20T10:50:00.001-05:00

Fire building is wasted on this child.

Sure, he'll help carry the sticks to the pile.

And yeah, he's excited about flames and stuff.

And he likes blowing the marshmallows (where blowing = roasting.)

But then he refuses to eat the roasted marshmallows and doesn't even like s'mores.

I mean, what's the point of building a fire if it's not to eat s'mores?

When the tent hurts

2010-04-19T13:27:00.001-05:00

Landon asked me if we could go camping and sleep in a tent. So I took him to my parents' lake house (where our tent lives) for the weekend. We got there late on Friday and since I know my capabilities, I told him we'd have to set up the tent in the morning and we could sleep in it on Saturday night.

After some initial arguments, he finally agreed that he'd rather not have the tent cave in on us in the night because I'm not great at putting up tents in the dark. Especially tents I haven't actually put up in several years.

We set up the tent the next morning and he played in it all day. In and out as much as possible. And even helped set up and then deconstruct the bedding.

When it came time to go get in the tent for the night, I put the dogs in first and went back to get him. I brought him out to the tent and we settled in. He snuggled up to me and told me to turn the lantern off.

And then we had this conversation:

"This hurts."

"What hurts?"

"The tent hurts."

"The tent hurts?"

"Yeah, I wanna go back inside and sleep inside."

"What do you mean the tent hurts?"

"It hurts."

"Ok."

And so our greatly planned and much anticipated sleeping in a tent adventure ended less than 15 seconds after it began.

The next morning we finally got him to explain what happened. He was apparently afraid of the dark, although never thought to mention that we should turn the lantern back on. Also it turns out that had we stayed in the tent, we probably would have been wet in the morning, thanks to 1.5" of rain - HARD rain - over night that left puddles in the tent when I went to take it down the next morning.

Our new great plan, (If you tell him your plan and ask him what he thinks, he will sometimes reply with "That sounds like a great plan."), is to set up the tent in our living room next weekend and sleep in the house in the tent. Then the next weekend we will graduate to the backyard. And then we can try at the lake again.

One problem solved, 17,000 or so to go

2010-04-16T09:45:00.000-05:00

I have figured out - via that test blog post - that I can email a post with an attached picture and update my blog from work AND include a picture, although I can't look at it after that and proofread or anything. And I still can't read anyone else's blog - which is irritating - but I think I can work something out in the afternoons when I get home before I pick up Landon in order to keep up.

Anyway - quick cute Landon story before I forget it - and just know that now that I know I can put pictures on here through an email that I will be more prolific than I have been in the last couple months.

*****

Each morning Landon watches a recorded TV show of his choice while I get ready for work and he wakes up. This particular morning he was watching a Super Why about a Genie. After the show he said he wanted a tattoo, I told him he could have one after he got dressed. So he got dressed and I laid out the huge collection of temporary tattoos that he has to allow him to pick one.

He hemmed and hawed and finally picked one and I put it on his arm.

To which he responded lovingly "you made my wish come true!"

And my heart melted.

Testing

2010-04-15T20:41:00.001-05:00

This is a test.

Would you look at the time?

2010-04-07T03:14:00.002-05:00

Ummm - they took away any and all bloggery at work. I can't even read people's blogs, much less write on my own.

Luckily I suffer from a bit of insomnia occasionally - although I rarely think - "hmmm 3am - sounds like a good time to blog!"

Except tonight (which is technically last night and I pre-dated this one) and also this particular stint is brought to you by guilt - must put up a monthly newsletter lest I be lynched by angry grandmothers around the state.

Monthly Newsletter #42

2010-04-06T03:03:00.003-05:00

Dear Landon,

This month has been particularly hectic, at least for me, although, I’m not sure it has made much of a difference to you. You have a new love of doing anything that requires not just my supervision, but also my participation. You have apparently inherited my love of board games. In fact, a few nights ago you combined your love of tools with your love of board games and created your very own tool related board game. Technically, you came up with the plans, because we don’t have a piece of wood big enough for both of us to sit on – which would be required for the real thing.

You have always had an affinity for tools, and your discovery of Handy Manny has done nothing but enhance your obsession. You are more interested now in figuring out what’s wrong with things that are broken and how they are put together and which tools you would use to put them together. I have no doubt that in the years to come that between your two grandfathers you will learn how to use just about every tool in existence – and some that I’m sure haven’t even been invented yet.

For almost a week this month we moved in with GUL and Kimmie on a day by day basis while our house was being re-piped. We were mostly able to follow our normal routine, and you did really well with not being at home, except by the 3rd day you hadn’t been home in a while and I had to take you over to the house to let you smell the PVC glue smell and see the lack of toilet for you to really understand why we couldn’t just go home. Anyway, you did something at GUL and Kimmie’s one night that you’ve never done before and I have a feeling you’ll never do again – so I feel I need to record it for posterity’s sake. We were all watching TV and playing cars and you announced, “I tired, I want to go night night.” I looked up at Kimmie and said “he’s never said that before?!?!” And before you changed your mind, I scooped you up and took you off to bed. I fully expected you to hit the sheets and announce “I not tired anymore.” But you didn’t. You went to sleep. It was eerie.

If there’s one thing I’ve really been lax about in your life, it’s professional pictures. I take a bazillion pictures of you, but you’ve only sat for professional portraits a handful of times. Three of which were arranged by your school, two of which came out insanely awful. And one of those was this month. I mean, seriously, every other kid in your class had 2 or 3 pictures on the website to choose from. And they smiled. You sat on the mushroom looking like a zombie. I can only guess that you were uncooperative and that they decided that one stoned zombie look was the best they would get out of you and they moved on to the next kid.

And last, but not least. Easter. I have yet to learn my lesson about buying eggs. As in, I shouldn’t. I should take the eggs from the first couple hunts (provided by others) and use them for the hunts where I must provide eggs. And actually, we ended up missing one of the five hunts you were supposed to have this year, because you got sick. I lucked out though and I managed to turn 44 eggs into 25 by bringing them with us to a hunt where I was not requested to bring eggs, but thought I should anyway. Anyway, remind me next year not to buy any eggs, and also that you were happier about the little trinkets in the eggs than the candy – so more stickers, erasers, and rings, and less candy. It’ll probably just piss you off next year, but I’m going to do it anyway.

Love,
Mama

George Washington Carver

2010-04-02T03:52:00.000-05:00

You know how you graduate from school and you think you'll never have homework again, unless you're some kind of take you work home with you kind of person - which I am not.

And sure I figured that eventually I'd have to help my kid with his homework, but I really didn't think that would hit at year 3.

So for the month of February (yes I am well aware of the fact that we're in April, thank you very much - remember that wagon I fell off of?) we were given a family assignment of taking a black history person and doing a half poster board display about them. So we got Geroge Washington Carver.

I learned a lot about him. Landon believes he's the guy who carved peanuts.

Back-a-set Ball

2010-04-01T03:46:00.002-05:00

A week or so ago, Clinton lowered the basketball hoop to about 5 fet tall. Landon and i drove up the driveway that evening and his jaw dropped.

That is soooooo coool.

Wagons, And the Falling off Thereof

2010-03-23T07:53:00.004-05:00

I can't think of a good way to get back into this, so I'm just going to start typing.

I guess you probably noticed that I kind of fell off the blogging wagon. Between personal life things and work things and house things and universe spitting in my face things, I just didn't/don't have the energy to do the kind of posting I was doing a year ago.

Interesting/boring depending on your perspective news:

Despite my declaration of a hatred for hamburgers - I have found a hamburger I like. Smash Burger. Tis awesome.

Despite my declaration of sushi as weird - I have fallen head over heels for it. Although I am still in my infantile stages, and pretty much am stuck on those things which are cooked - I am craving it. I kind of want to learn to make it.

If you have ever had a drink of water from my tap, you may want to look away. This was one of the pipes they pulled out of my house.

It was not the worst one.

Here's a small guy who was helping to fix the pipes before the guys we hired showed up, he is currently in love with Handy Manny and has as such named his tools the same names as Manny's tools.

Should you ever have your house re-piped, I suggest hiring a whole house remodeler, so that when they do this:

They can fix it. I also recommend not going upstairs mid process, because holy crap is it ever scary to think they might not be able to lay that carpet back down right.

A cute story in lieu* of photos

2010-03-16T12:04:00.002-05:00

My house is re-piped. The PVC glue smell is disapating - or maybe I'm just getting high on it and not noticing it so much anymore. And my water tastes better and I'm completely grossed out by what was inside the pipes - pipes that the water went through and I drank. YUCK. I have pictures, but they're on my laptop, so this is just a teaser. I also have pictures of the disaster the pipers created and well, the knowledge, but not the pictures that prove that they fixed it.

*******

So anyway, last night Landon asked me to read his favorite book. (Where favorite equals the one he has in his hand at any given moment.) It's My Truck is Stuck. So I read it to him.

And then he said "this time, I will read it all by myself."..."I might need a little help."

So we read through it again, he memorized certain lines which repeat throughout the book.

Then he said "I gonna read it again, all by myself." [Pause] "Wait, who's the illustrator?"

"Did you just ask me who the illustrator is?"

"Yeah."

"Do you even know what an illustrator is?"

"Yeah, the person who draws the pictures." [Complete with pretend drawing motion with his hands in case I'm a complete idiot.]

I am afraid of how smart this kid is going to be.

***********

* After three attempts, I just googled it, I will never spell it right the first time, also I think there should be a "u" in forty, and maybe and extra "e" in twelve. Spell check may or may not have been invented specifically for me.

A Weak Start

2010-03-08T14:30:00.003-06:00

You know what I think the best way to start a week is?

You should have a small child puke in your bed. And I bet you’re thinking it’s because it can’t get any worse than that. But it’s not. Because it can.

What is more fun than waking up at 3 am to change the sheets and frantically load the washing machine because you have contractors showing up any minute and they’re working on the pipes, so you don’t know if you’ll have water today or not, is while talking to the guy whose is going to repipe your house, you hear from your bedroom “MOMMMMMMMY!!! I FROWED UP AGAIN!!”

But as you get in there he takes aim at all pieces of bed coverings that he missed on the first two rounds. And you’d think that was as bad as it could get. But you lead your small child into the bathroom, you tell him that if he has to puke again he needs to do it in the toilet. And he says “No, I want a towel.” So you give him a towel and try to quickly finish up with the explaining to the guy all the things he needs to know about where to find stuff in the house, etc. And you return to the bathroom to find…

A child squatting beside a stool with a towel on it with a small puddle of puke. AND a puddle under his bottom, where he pooped diarrhea through his underwear. [At this point I have to highly recommend the machine washable bathroom rugs.]

You manage to convince him to sit on the toilet for the next few minutes while you clean things up, meanwhile a toxic smell coats the inside of your bathroom and not even the fart fan can clear it out.

When you leave for work and leave the contractors in the house, you feel bad for the smell that will knock them on their butts when they enter your bathroom, but there’s really not much you can do about it.

Bonus points if you have arranged to drive 20 minutes in the wrong direction to hand him over to your mother. [Thank you mom, sorry to have woken you up this morning to tell you that you have a day ahead with a sick kid.] Only to take what should be a 45 minute trip to work from that point and turn it into an hour and a half because…OMG there are small drops of water falling on my car. IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

Ultra bonus points if you arrive at work 4 minutes after a meeting you are essentially chairing has started. A meeting you are unprepared for because you thought you'd have at least 2 hours to get your stuff together before the meeting, and you also thought you'd have last Friday to prepare, but you didn't because of the same puking kid.

I know better than to say that things can only get better.

Monthly Newsletter #41

2010-03-03T11:21:00.004-06:00

Dear Landon,

Are you growing? You must be growing. Because any 3 year old that can eat 9 chicken nuggets plus fries and an hour later say “I hungry,” has to be growing. I just want you to be able to wear your current clothes until spring really hits, so I don’t have to search for the bigger sized long pants when all the places I know of are only carrying shorts now.

This month you have started a couple of new lovely habits in arguing. One goes something like this. “No it not, you see?” If I disagree with you even slightly, you are out to prove your point, whether it’s obviously wrong or not. And it always ends with “you see?” The second is what I guess I should change my name to, because I am more often referred to as “but Mommy” than I am by just “Mommy.” I have repeatedly asked you to stop calling me “but Mommy,” and you steadfastly refuse.

I did finally figure out that I can get you to stop arguing ahead of time if I see it coming by 20 or 30 minutes prior to the event, saying “this is going to happen, and when it does, we have to do this and there will be no arguing about it, okay?” And you stare off into space pretending to be deaf. And then I say “say ‘okay.’” And you say “oooooh-kaaaaaay.” And poof, no fit. Of course this only works when I can predict the fits, so it’s not fool proof.

Routine is still very important to you. You are also saying “Mommy, I want you,” a lot. My response is always “You got me, baby. I’m right here, and I’ll always be here for you.” And the one time I left the last part off about always being there for you, you screamed back at me “SAY YOU ALWAYS BE HERE FOR ME, MOMMY!”

You remind me so much of your cousin Joshua when he was your age that sometimes I even call you Joshua by accident. Both of you have such sweet spirits and curiosity. And both of you have hearts of pure gold. It’s no wonder that you love him so much and every time we do anything family related you ask if “big Joshua” will be there. [Little Joshua is a Joshua in your class at school.] I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

One thing I would like you to work on is that whining. Specifically the asking for something, receiving said thing and STILL whining about it. Um, hello? You got your way – stop whining.

Love,
But Mommy

Since you been gone

2010-03-01T13:19:00.003-06:00

Last week I accidentally took Landon to one of those theme night things at Chick Fil A. I love Chick Fil A. There was a time when I ate Chick Fil A for breakfast every weekday. (I lost 20 lbs doing that, believe it or not.) And the girl at the drive through recognized my voice and when I changed my orders slightly, she was like “really?” And when she sees me now, she looks for my son in the car.

Not the point.

Anyway, I took Landon to Chick Fil A on Wild West Night on accident. I generally avoid that place like the plague when they have events like that because, well – it’s kind of annoying.

But the guy who was doing the show – who I’m going to call Taylor Hicks, because he looks just enough like Taylor Hicks to be his stunt double – was pretty cool. In fact, when Landon had been waiting for a long time for the gun to shoot the cans off the log, Taylor Hicks made the older boys let Landon take his turn. And he brought in cowboy hats for everyone to wear while they played with his stuff.

*****

Also over the weekend, I tripped and fell in our backyard.

I was trying to get the pool cleaned up and we have those pebble stepping stones as a path leading back to the pool equipment. I slipped off the side of one and went straight down. I hit my knee on another one and my hand on the rocks we have lining the flower beds.

I had on jeans. It didn't even rip the jeans. SO I guess technically - my jeans did this to me.

I laid there for 15 or 20 seconds completely still. And then I realized that I was the only adult there, and if I couldn’t move I was going to have to send Landon to get the phone – which I’m sure he could have done (it was like flashbacks to the time I fell in the shower in college and at first couldn’t move and my roommate had gone home for the weekend and all I could think was that I would have to lay there for 2 days until she came home before anyone would find me – luckily I was able to move after the shock wore off a little and no, my roommate didn’t come home to find me starving and naked in the bathtub.) First I bent each of my knees and they seemed to work, so I figured I would be able to get up one way or another. I slowly began arranging myself to get up – all the while making yelpy pain noises.

Landon was outside with me and he heard my whimpering. He came around the corner and said “Oh mommy! You okay, you be ok.” And he held my elbow and tried to help lift me up. He led me by the hand over to the pool so I could rinse my hands, and he rinsed off the basket I had been carrying. That little guy has a heart of pure gold.

Luckily I spent the rest of the day over at my sister’s house where I was able to put an ice pack on it and just sit around the rest of the day. And on day two it wasn’t even swollen. Now it’s just bruised and ugly purple.

A post my son is going to be terribly upset about if it's still around when he's a teenager.

2010-02-23T08:05:00.002-06:00

One of Landon's testicles swelled up pretty big last week. I noticed it on Wednesday and I thought maybe he sat on it funny - what do I know, I don't have those parts. He said it didn't hurt. So I left him alone.

On Friday he announced, that yeah - it did hurt, but only when touched. So I made an appointment with his pediatrician - luckily they have Saturday hours. I went in thinking it would be another over reaction and something normal.

We were directed straight to Texas Children's Hospital for an ultrasound. With the looming possibilities that included a twisted testicle and emergency surgery, and possible loss of the testicle - or you know, a small regular infection and no biggie. Thanks - really reassuring.

I have to say I was extremely impressed with Texas Children's. On a Saturday afternoon when I arrived, there was one person ahead of me in line to fill out paperwork, and no one in the waiting area. In fact I didn't even have time to get the paperwork filled out before they sent us to triage and then to our little rapid treatment area room.

The ultrasound showed that the testicle appendix (?) was twisted. And it's apparently not a big deal and will resolve itself. After 4 people poked his testicles to make their determinations, and poked them to the point of him being almost in tears (and this almost is pretty big for him - he has a super high tolerance for pain.) I mean, isn't this the happiest little sick kid you've ever seen? And aside from the 2 minutes he was on this stretcher and the time we spent in the ultrasound, he actually didn't sit still very much at all.

I promised ice cream on the way home. He wanted chocolate chip ice cream, with M&M's on top.

He fell asleep on the way home, so I nudged him a little when I got to the intersection and asked him if he still wanted ice cream. And he said "Chocit chi-ups, wif M-n-M spinkles."

We had a follow up yesterday afternoon - still swollen, not as much though and we're supposedly on the downhill side of this whole debacle.

Incredible Pizza Company

2010-02-17T15:47:00.001-06:00

On Saturday we ventured into the world of games + pizza. My child is completely unaware that a certain rat named Chuck exists outside of the TV - I believe he thinks it's a TV show that he just keeps missing and is occasionally seeing commercials for.

Anyway - we have an Incredible Pizza Company and I had heard it was really cool, so I got my friend and her two kids to come up and we went to play.

The pizza is ok. It's not great, it's not terrible. The salad bar is decent, and the dessert bar is good.

My child will probably never aspire to the likes of Tiger Woods...which now I think is probably just fine.

Also, probably not going to be a future star of "Dancing with the Stars."

And basket ball? Well, of those 10 points you see there? He threw exactly...none of them.

But, and of course I don't have a picture of it here, he is an awesome shot, so beware any dinosaurs trying to attack us - he's totally got your number.

Mardi Gras - Doggie Style

2010-02-16T15:54:00.000-06:00

On Sunday we went down to Galveston with my sister and Zoey and Dylan to watch the parade. The Humane society puts on a pet parade every year and for $20 you can walk your dog in the parade and the proceeds go to the SPCA. We were observers, not participants.

So we parked at 41st street and walked and posed and danced down the seawall to about 31st, then we started heading back while we waited for the parade to begin. It started a good 30-45 minutes late or so.

They were mostly patient, but also kind of tired by the time the parade finally started and any time there was a lag in pets Landon asked if it was over yet.

But he did get some beads and didn't even have to lift his shirt.

The most disappointing piñata ever

2010-02-15T15:40:00.004-06:00

Landon made a piñata at school last week. They basically painted a brown paper bag and filled it with...a big wad of colored butcher paper. The tie broke before he even poked a hole in the bag after wacking it a million times with the plastic golf club. And when I picked it up after that I "accidentally" poked a big hole in the side - at which point we abandoned all piñata rules and regulations and I had him stick the golf club in the hole and just pull until he ripped it some more. And even then I had to keep "accidentally" ripping it more to get the giant wad of paper to fall out.

Things and Stuff

2010-02-13T09:35:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I got buried under a pile of work this week and last week.

Plus they're doing this reorganization thing where my immediate boss will now be a department manager and he seems to think I want to be in his position, even though I've made it perfectly clear that I want to move to another department by July. Oy - and enough with the procedures already - I just want to get my work done and I don't need a grading system to see if I'm doing it or not. GAH!!!

Anyway - I just want you to know if you noticed the extreme lack of posts over here or the fact that I haven't commented on your blog as of late, I am just exhausted and I don't have time to do much of anything besides work and come home and eat and spend a little time with my kid before I fall unconscious each night.

Also I haven't managed to take very many pictures either because I'm just that tired.

That being said - I have some things to talk about.

If your comment thingie looks similar to this:

I can't comment on your blog from work. But I am still reading it, I swear. And there are several of you who have this format.

Also - I'm not on facebook - which I know makes me an outcast, but since I can't get to it from work either it's not like I'd be on there very much.

Oh and I do have plans this weekend where plans equals picture opportunities, so I am trying to get my act together.

Bald Birds

2010-02-10T14:59:00.003-06:00

On the way to dinner last night we saw a HUGE cloud of birds. Like a swarm. Like a plague sized cloud of birds flying over the highway. And I thought it was awfully lucky that I didn't get hit with anything, um...juicy. Nevermind the fact that I am apparently marked as a great target for suicidal birds, I have vehicularly birdslaughtered more than my fair share.

The birds are not flying all in one direction, they seem to be on LSD or something and flying all crazy like and Landon said "When birds fly really really fast, all their feathers fall off and they're naked."

To which I said, "that seems kind of strange, do you lose your hair when you run really fast?"

And he said "Yes! When I run super duper fast!"

That kid is weird sometimes.

Monthly Newsletter #40

2010-02-03T07:44:00.004-06:00

Dear Landon,

This month was the fastest month in the history of all time. Or at least of the recent past. I didn’t get a lot of pictures taken of you. Mostly because we just didn’t do that much. For one thing, it’s been cold. We had a hard freeze in Houston, it was below freezing for a whole 3 days. We stayed inside nearly the entire time and everyone’s sprinkler vacuum thingy popped off. Trust me when I say – this was kind of a boring month.

You got your second ever ear infection, and spent almost a whole week at home with Grandma. It probably wouldn’t have taken so long, but you didn’t tell us that your original virus was gone and that you were now working on the ear infection, so we thought we were still dealing with a virus for quite a while.

I think you also learned a new word this month. The word is spicy. You use it correctly, as in, “those sausage balls are kind of good, but they’re kind of spicy.” And you use it strangely, as in “my mouf hurts, it spicy.” I have no idea where you picked up that little quirk, but I’m going with it.

I think you also have developed a new phrase as well – “kind of.” So when something exciting is going to happen and I say “How cool is that?” You think about it for a few seconds and say “Um,…it’s kind of cool.”

I decided right before Christmas that we’d start going to church on Sunday mornings. More specifically, Sunday school. I’ve never been a huge fan of the worship services themselves, I feel like I get more out of a small group discussion than all the other stuff anyway. The room you are in is more like a nursery than a class, but those ladies love you! They already know you by name and they are so impressed with how smart you are. I’m a little confused as to how to respond to that, because I’m not sure I have all that much to do with how smart you are. You’re just a super little sponge and remember everything. It was the decision to go to church that led to your discovery of sausage balls. You love sausage balls. I can get you to do almost anything for a sausage ball. I had made them for a church party, but because you were feverish that day we didn’t get to go. I dropped off the stuff I had agreed to bring and then gave you a sampling of the leftover sausage balls. And you. Fell. In. Love.

Speaking of being smart and remembering things. A few weeks ago you did a study at school about the food pyramid. And now every time you see me using butter on anything you yell “BUTTER IS BAD FOR YOU!” Or more recently “Butter is bad for your body!” I offer you candy or cookies and you say the same thing. I tried to explain the theory of everything in moderation. But I don’t think you’re quite getting it.

I don't have much to ask you for this month. Just keep being sweet and cute and lovable.

Love,

Mama

Creating my own nerdy child.

2010-02-01T07:48:00.003-06:00

I have had both of these conversations in the past couple weeks.

Landon: Why it so hard to start bike moving?

Me: Well, the coefficient of static friction is higher than the coefficient of rolling friction.

Landon: Oh.

**************

Landon: Why when you turn that corner, I fall over.

Me: Well, some people would tell you it's centrifugal force, but they'd be wrong, because it's technically inertia.

Landon: Inertia?

Me: Well, it's a law of phyics that things in motion tend to stay in motion and things at rest tend to stay at rest unless acted on by an outside force.

Landon: But I not outside.

***************

Hat tip to Mr. Richardson who taught me both of the above concepts in high school. And he probably thought I wasn't paying attention.

Let's pretend this week never happened, okay?

2010-01-22T07:46:00.005-06:00

Landon's teacher has a bulletin board where they put family portaits from the kids so that they "feel like they're at home." I don't really see how a picture is going to make it feel like home. But whatever. So they asked for a family portrait, and I have exactly one recent picture of Clinton and Landon and me all together. And this is it:

I can get over the fact that Clinton isn't smiling, he's only smiling in pictures if you accidentally take one when he's not aware it's going to happen. But can someone for the love of God teach me how to pose for a picture without bringing my chin back into my neck causing the triple chin?

On Monday we were down to no cars. My car needed brakes fairly badly, because that's just perfect timing and everything, and also a rear brake light and an oil change and a state inspection. But at least I got that one back Monday evening. Today we should be back up to two - the truck is done and Clinton is picking it up this morning. And the stolen car is still unresolved.

This week I:

Watched a lady motion for another car to merge into her lane to get around a stalled vehicle. And then she proceeded to ram them as they tried to come into her lane. And then they both drove off - no exchange of information or anything.
Saw a "Buy Local" bumper sticker - on a Honda.
Cleaned cat puke off my windshield for the very first time in all my driving years. And had to use baby wipes to do it, because the hose is still disconnected and the faucet is still wrapped from the freeze, and also note: I'm kind of lazy.
Got the sprinkler thingy fixed that broke from the freeze.
Came home to find a neighbor dog (not the neighbor from hell, but the neighbor behind us) in my back yard and a crater sized hole under the fence between our yards. But the neighbor wasn't home the two times I tried to alert them to the issue. And also the dog went back - at least I assume so because she's not in my yard anymore.

Football

2010-01-14T09:29:00.003-06:00

Everyone should have a cousin who is about 10 years older, who is willing to play football with you.

Even better, should he pretend to actually have been tackled by you!

Because, why be down by one vehicle when you could be down by two?

2010-01-13T08:22:00.002-06:00

Everyone is fine. And the truck is already in the shop and they're even going to start working on it today. We'll probably have it back before the stolen car thing is settled, then I just have to pray they won't drop us.

I'm wishing I could go back in time and go ahead and reinstate the rental policy on the insurance, instead of thinking that I could wait until the stolen car thing was settled, but hindsight is 20/20.

Kind of like New York, but not and by the way only the parents really seemed to care.

2010-01-12T10:32:00.004-06:00

The Children's Museum hosted a New Year's Party complete with a ball drop at noon on New Year's Eve.

Landon and I went along with the rest of the population of Houston.

We did the normal Children's Museum things,

but we also headed outside right before noon for the ball drop, as I said, with the rest of the population of Houston.

The parents cheered and counted down as the ball dropped. And then they did it again when these signs were on a few second delay.

And my kid? Was too busy to be bothered even looking in the direction of balls dropping or counting down or anything. Because he had found a boat to carry around and an aimable stream of water.

Weekend O Fire

2010-01-11T10:39:00.002-06:00

This child ruined every plan I had this weekend.

The puking, thank God, only lasted an hour or so, but the 102-103° fever lasted 48+ hours. Thereby canceling all weekend plans.

I watched roughly 36 hours of The Incredibles, Caillou, The Sandlot, Clifford, Dinosaur Train, Super Why, and Go, Diego, Go! And changed my sheets no less than 4 times.

Oh and the bonus of the weekend was the vacuum overflow valve thingie on the sprinkler system that popped off due to the freeze and flooded my yard and driveway before a neighbor knocked on my door to let me know about it.

This is one of those Mondays when I'm glad to be back at my desk.

Oh, you noticed that part?

2010-01-06T15:38:00.005-06:00

So these are things I mentioned in passing and never came back to, so am providing an update.

Ok, so the car thing. I didn't talk about because, well - it's boring really. We have insurance. The detective said his car was the "flavor of the month." Which means that within a few hours it was probably chopped into tiny pieces and sold. He also said if that's not why it was taken, that a lot of cars stolen during the holidays turn up after the first of the year when people begin noticing strange cars that don't belong in their parking lots that they overlooked previously thinking they might belong to some visitors or something. The insurance people say it will take about 3 weeks to do all the investigations and close the case, we have about 1 week of that to go. At this point, I don't think we even want to car back. If we got it back and it was repairable, I think it would probably be up for sale nearly immediately.

Landon's bloodwork came back, if he has any allergies, they are seasonal, not regular allergies like mine. Which is good to know.

The bank fixed the website so I was able to pay my mortgage.

My bloodwork came back and I am deficient in vitamin B12, and also have "atrocious" cholesterol (which I kind of already knew.)

My boss has freaked out now twice about people finding things in my officemate's boxes [he's only in the office once a week], but he's the only one going through them and finding the things he's freaking out about (employment package and raise letter.) The boxes bother him so much he's unpacked two of them and I see him eyeballing mine. I told him I wasn't unpacking them because everytime I get totally unpacked I end up having to move again. Also, it's kind of a bonus now that I know it's bothering him.

Monthly Newsletter #39

2010-01-05T08:48:00.004-06:00

Dear Landon,

This month for you was, of course, all about Christmas. This year you kind of “got” the whole Santa Claus bit, which was awesome. Also I found out that our mall Santa is equally as awesome as the guy at the North Pole – which as you understand it is the real Santa, but the other Santas we see before Christmas are just his helpers. When you threw a big fit after we stood in line for 45 minutes he told me to walk you around the mall, maybe get something to eat and come back, but to come to the exit and they would let me in so I wouldn’t have to wait in line again. And it worked and we got a decent Santa picture - which is more than I can say about last year.

Also, it snowed, in Houston – which is like unheard of – except it did snow last year, but it didn’t stick so I don’t count it and I don’t think anyone else should either. So naturally I picked you up a little early from school so we could have a snow ball fight in the front yard. You did not want to even consider laying down in it for snow angel making – which is pretty smart really, it’s not like we own snow pants and when I did it I ended up having to like change clothes almost immediately and my snow angel was kind of pathetic since we only got like half an inch of snow. (Right now people who are from up north are laughing at the idea of crazy Houston people getting all excited about snow, but hey – they get all crazy about heat and we’re like – what? Over 100 degrees for 13 days – BRING IT!!)

This year your school decided that the Christmas program should take place in the middle of the day – even though they are a place that cares for children whose parents work and last year they did it in the evening which was better. I’m beginning to think people should just run their ideas by me before they’re allowed to make any decisions, it would make everyone’s life that much easier. Anyway, luckily I work for people who think family is important so I was able to attend. I even took a video. And you stood in the back behind some other kid with a tall nutcracker hat on. And I saw your glimmering little smile a whopping 2 seconds the entire time. Plus you guys danced to some kind of weird song I’d never heard of. “First Toy Maker to the King.” Weird. You were totally excited about it anyway and I guess next year I’ll have to teach you about the fact that we are short people (you and I) and we must push our way to the front when on stage in order to be seen.

This year, Christmas lights played a huge role for you. At Thanksgiving we went on our annual trip through the drive through light display with Grandma and Grandpa Wood, and each evening that we had a little spare time I took you to the street in the back of our neighborhood that teams up to do a group display. I also drove you down the street in Lake Jackson that does the same kind of thing. And your Aunt Kelly and Uncle Hector began a new tradition this year, a Christmas light seeing hay ride. It was so much fun. It was a little chilly, but the lights were great and you had a lot of fun and we sang Christmas carols and everything.

One night while riding through the street in our neighborhood with all the lights you said “I see ‘joy’!” And you did. The plywood cut out of the word “Joy” was lit up in the yard. I asked if you had read it, and you said “No, I just know it.” You are beginning to memorize books and then “read” them to “the kids” (because you are the teacher.) That’s how I started, I memorized “Whose Mouse Are You?” So I believe that you are on the verge of reading – not that I’m pushing you or anything, and not that I have to, you absolutely love books.

On a sad note, you are learning that the world is not perfect, and not everyone is nice. We discovered that your daddy’s car was stolen on Christmas Eve morning. When I told you that daddy’s car was gone, you asked “why?” And I told you that people took it who weren’t supposed to, but that it would be okay, everything was going to be fine. And you said “Angry people? Angry people took daddy’s car?” Yes, I suppose on some level those people must be angry.

Your imagination is so great. Lately you've been "teaching the kids" by reading books and talking to them about things. I actually get in trouble because I hear you talking and I think you're talking to me and you're not, you yell at me about how you're not talking to me, you're talking to "the kids!" Also a couple nights ago you came out of the shower with a baby girl. A teeny tiny baby girl, who you carry around in the palm of your hand and sometimes hand to me to hold and yell at me if you think I might have squished her. You tuck her in at night next to you, and she is "sooooo pretty" and you "just love her!" And poof, my heart melted.

Love,

Mama

Am not dead.

2010-01-04T10:31:00.002-06:00

Monthly Newsletter will be up later today - maybe tomorrow, I tried to copy all the picture from the month to a CD to bring to work so I could work on it and then. Well - you know how I took 24 pictures over Thanksgiving? Well, I have like 900 for the month of December. Granted, not all of them relate to a monthly newsletter but they still have to be sorted through and whatnot.

So assuming the kid will cooperate this evening, I will either write the letter and do the accompanying pictures or at least get them copied onto a DVD that I can bring in and work on them tomorrow. (Probably the latter, so don't get your hopes up or anything.

And then we can talk about more fun things.

They moved my office over the holidays. And then I moved myself to the other desk in the office they put me in, because who wants to have people walk up behind them?

Am putting off unpacking, and the bank won't let me pay my mortgage - so my new year has started off just perfect.

Letter to Santa

2009-12-21T15:49:00.003-06:00

Landon and I sat down on Saturday to write his letter to Santa.

Which actually turned out to be more of a book to Santa.

And I thought we'd share.

[DEAR SANTA] We used all caps, because when I wrote his guide with small letter he got mad and said we had to use big letters.

[TOY DINOSAUR] No salutations or anything, straight to the point with the list!

Picture of Toy dinosaur just in case Santa can't decode the above hieroglyphics

At this point he was no longer in the mood to write words, so he drew a bouncy ball - or more accurately, a bouncy ball path.

And that's it, no need for formalities of saying thank you or bye or anything, just end with the drawing.

Chocolate Face

2009-12-16T08:03:00.001-06:00

Christmas Party Success

2009-12-14T08:44:00.005-06:00

Balloon sword? Check.

Hand Painting of Ornament? Check.

Chocolate all over shirt? Check.

My company hosted a children's Christmas party on Sunday, so Landon and I went to see what kind of trouble we could cause. It was a lot of fun. They had a Santa, a magician, all kinds of yummy sweets, face/hand painting, and balloons. The magician wasn't all that magical, but he was pretty entertaining. And Santa's line was enormous, so we didn't talk to him, but just seeing him go by was enough for Landon anyway.

The most fun part? Was the duck on the terrace, and the circles on the carpet.

Making Up For It

2009-12-10T07:27:00.003-06:00

In our house if you get your blood drawn, not only do you get a lollipop on the way out the door, you get to have ice cream when you get picked up that day and you get to choose where you want to have dinner. In whatever order you choose.

So when I picked him up after school - he totally remembered. He said he wanted ice cream and salad. I may have the only three year old on the planet who requests to go to "that salad place." Which worked out especially well for me, since I was able to get both in one place.

Early morning lessons, and maybe some from yesterday

2009-12-09T08:32:00.002-06:00

Landon needed a blood draw for allergy testing. I've been putting it off for a month, but his doctor sent a letter that basically said "Hey, 'member when I said he needed this blood draw? I was totally serious, so do it!"

Anyway, I took off work a couple minutes early yesterday, thinking the lab was open until 6, and I picked Landon up and went over there at 5:25 only to find out that they close at 5. I guess I should have called. But they do open at 6:30, so I decided to take him over there this morning.

And based on what happened when he was 3 months old, I think I should have been prepared for the next problem. Um, the phlebotomists that are on the super early morning shift...are apparently not the best sticks - combined with the fact that Landon has deep veins with hiding super powers. Well...they stuck him once in each inner elbow (is there a word for that body part?) with the butterfly looking doo-hickeys with no luck. They asked me what I wanted to do. I asked Landon if we could try again and he said no, I said, if they don't try again we're going to have to come back, and he freaked out about not wanting to come back.

One lady, during the freak out went ahead and stuck him with a more regular looking syringe, no butterfly or long tube, just the little syringey thing and the test tube. They got the blood, then they taped him up.

To his credit, Landon did everything they asked him to do. Even as they were doing the third stick, and he was saying he didn't want to, he was pretty still. He didn't even cry until they told him they might stick him again.

So lesson - if we do this again, we need to come later in the day so we can get the best stick in the place, and also the lollipops I put in my purse were essential for recovery - also, maybe we should bring our own fun bandaids, it's like these people never see children or something.

Community Service

2009-12-08T08:03:00.003-06:00

Last Tuesday, I took my Girl Scout troop to the retirement community where my grandmother lives. We went to a couple different areas of the building and handed out ornaments that the girls had made and candy canes to the residents.

Landon got to wear his Girl Scout shirt for the first time - although when the ladies would ask him if he was a girl scout he very confidently would say "No, I not a giiirl scout, I a boy."

My Grandma joined us in the lobby and walked the halls with us as we passed all of the stuff out. I think the people there really enjoyed us being there and the girls (and Landon) had a pretty good time too.

Houston Snow

2009-12-06T02:55:00.001-06:00

Talking Back, Part 2

2009-12-04T07:27:00.001-06:00

So, as I stated previously, I come from a family that did not use the term "talking back." But Landon has been getting in trouble in school for talking back [no further detail and the teacher who writes it is gone by the time I pick him up]. When I ask him what happened, he says "I don't know." When I ask the teacher who is there, I get “Well, you’d have to ask Ms Joy, I don’t get in here until 4, so I don’t know.” Thank you for all your insight, as I suspected, the range of talking back is kind of varied depending on who you are.

Not knowing what she considers to be “talking back.” I can only assume he’s doing with her what he does to me, which is that he tells me about not wanting to do whatever it is I have told him he needs to do. He is of course whiney to me at that point, and I spend a lot of time saying "I understand that you don't want to XYZ, but these are the reasons it's important to do XYZ. Blah blah blah, so you have to do it anyway." And he generally says "Ooooooh-kaaaaaaay." And then does it.

So, is he talking back to me when I tell him to do something and he tells me he doesn't want to? And maybe I'm alone on my parenting boat, but I feel like he should be able to tell me how he feels about things he's being asked to do - now, it doesn't mean he's going to get out of picking up his toys or whatever, but I think he should be allowed to say "this sucks" [probably not using those words] because it does suck, I hate cleaning up too - and we can commiserate and then get to cleaning up.

I’m betting this is a transition issue, i.e. he’s playing with blocks, but it’s circle time now, so he’s been asked to pick up the blocks and come to the circle and sit. And he of course doesn’t want to and says so. I can't think of a single adult I know who likes being interrupted mid task to be asked to do something else that someone else thinks is important. Why should it be different for kids? Or are they just not allowed to tell anyone that it sucks? [A side question I have if this is the issue, is whether they are giving time warnings prior to transitions, i.e. Ok 5 more minutes until clean up time, 3 more minutes and everyone has to be in the circle, etc. – because when I do that, I get a lot less resistance to moving on to the next activity.]

Now I understand that the teacher has 16 kids in the class with a teacher and an assistant teacher. And I understand that she can't possibly deal with all the dissenting opinions the way I can on a one on one basis – she’d spend her entire day explaining things and then they’d never get anything done.

So my solution is to explain to him that Ms Joy doesn’t have time to explain why she wants him to do something, but that he needs to do what she says anyway, because if she has to spend all her time explaining why they have to move on to the next activity, then they’ll never get to do anything.

We’ll see how that works.

Oh, and we took toys away from him as punishment, and he was hysterical, we told him if he came home the next day with 2 smiley faces that we’d give them back. And he did. So - I guess we have that option too.

Monthly Newsletter #38

2009-12-03T08:26:00.002-06:00

Dear Landon,

Why? Why is 95% of what you say made up of only the word “why”? Why don’t you listen to me when I answer you? Why do you keep asking the same question over and over again when I told you the answer the first time…and the second time…and possibly the third time…before I pretend to strangle you behind your back? Why?

In the past couple days you’ve started asking if things are real or pretend. Is that Santa decoration real or pretend? I’m not really sure how to answer some of them, because to me, if it’s physically there, it’s real, but in the sense that a lighted wire “dein-dein-dur” [reindeer] is not a living animal, it’s not real, but it’s not really pretend either. I hope my answers which vary depending on my mood are not more confusing than they are helpful.

I think this is going to be the best Christmas ever. I probably said that last year, but your face exploded in wonder when we drove through the Christmas light display – 4 days later you were still talking about it, and how the lights on the houses in our neighborhood didn’t exactly measure up to the lights you saw there. Although the lady who loves Snoopy on our street does have quite an exciting display. You helped me decorate the Christmas tree, and are much more excited about your Christmas tree this year than you were last year. You willingly got within a couple inches of a Santa and told him the Christmas tree he was sitting in front of was pretty. We might actually get a Christmas picture with Santa this year if this keeps up!

Another thing you’re asking is if whatever interests you at the moment is for “for me? Or for little kids? Or for grown-ups?” It’s pretty convenient for me, since I can just say, “oh, sweetie, that’s for grown-ups.” And you put it down and walk away without argument. And I know by writing this down I am tempting the universe to take it back, but between that and telling you something is against the rules and you back down, I am amazed at how easy going you are.

You have decided this month that no matter what I pick out for you to wear to school, you have a different opinion. That’s okay though, because I figure it’s one step closer to you dressing yourself. And that is a fine goal.

I know the “whys” are a phase you will grow out of, and I know you’re just trying to piece together the world around you, so I do try to answer your questions when I can – I just wish you would listen to the answers, before asking the same exact question over again.

Love,
Mama